Stunned husband.

None of you know me but I am mnme's (Lee's) husband. I can't believe this! You people have been given an absolute golden opportunity to read some real answers to all of the questions I see on the front page of this living room but for some reason the message isn't getting through. Lee will probably kill me when she sees this, but I can't help it.

I can't believe she worked tirelessly for 5 years finding answers to this meniere's mystery and only a handful have bothered to consider it. She is one of you!

On a personal level I have sat by her through incredible sickness, with my kids asking me "Is mum going to be OK?" I was the one with her early mornings at the emergency of the hospital wondering what on earth was going on that they couldn't help. But then, I watched as Lee fought back and started investigating for herself. Over time she would continually come out excited by what she had found, and the kids and myself would get excited with her. To cut a long story short almost three years ago she came good and we have been living a normal life ever since.

Now comes the bit that I just can't believe. I wanted her to move on, but she insisted on writing this for all of you. And when she was finished, I was hugely proud. Others with all sorts of illnesses and injuries have taken to these ideas. But on this forum, the one she wanted to help the most, only a handful seem to be interested.

If you don't think this is important to you, well think of your husband, wife, kids, parents worrying about you. Believe me that's really hard. I have to say, I am simply stunned.
Darrell

 

Darrell,
Lee is very lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive husband!
Please do not feel there is a lack of interest in what she offers, but people with this illness have to move at their own pace.
I am very, very glad she is now doing so well, and you would be hard pressed to find someone on this board that did not agree with that sentiment.
Everyone with this disease has different symptoms, they react in different ways, and yes, may also have their own prejudices
as to treatments they feel may benefit them, based on their own experiences, and the order which they plan to try them.
While I am interested in Lee's topic, I myself, am not ready to go there yet. I am still burning the late night fires just trying to plan my base attack on this monster, and will be utilizing John of Ohio's regimen first. Maybe I am missing something she can offer, but it is not up to you to tell me that. If anything, I hope you realize the tone of your post may actually have turned people away, and yes, for that, I am sure Lee will be very disappointed and upset.
Your frustration is understandable, and I hope it is not caused by her disappointment. To do what she had done is a marvelous gift of dedication to those of us who suffer, but she has also benefited from her work, and that is what you should be grateful for.
When I joined the board a few weeks ago, there was a bit of a brew-ha-ha about Lee possibly touting her book to make a buck or two. For the record, I felt this would be far from her intentions, but my friend, you may have just added fuel to that fire.
Buy some flowers on the way home from work tonight, at the least, a wonderful wife deserves them, at the most, that will be the first step in making this up to her.
Marcy

 

G'day Darrell.
I hear your frustration. However, Lee has reached an amazing number of people and that is not always reflected in the responses on the forum. As in any new venture, some will briefly consider it, and some will reject it flat out.
But a few will embrace it, learn it and make it their own. I am one of those. I appreciate all of Lee's hard work, patience and dedication. Hang in there for those of us who need Lee.
Lee has often told me how supportive you have been and she is blessed to have you,Kim and Brett. Hope to meet you in 2008 when I visit again.
Diz

 

Hi Darrell,

I have felt the same way from time to time. I think two things are going on here. First of all, many of these folks have been dealing with chronic illness for so long that they final come to understand that nothing can help them. That is understandable. From what they consider to be the most reliable source, the medical community, they are told early on that their symptoms are incurable. At first, they might not believe it. But then after time, and after no relinquishing of symptoms, they come to believe it strongly. And then after more time, after more office visits, more doctors, more medical procedures, this strong belief that they cannot be helped becomes an operable truth in their lives, as true as the sun coming up in the morning. When that happens, they depend on that same truth in their decision making. Then, because the truth is that they cannot be helped, they decide against trying alternative measures that have helped others.

Secondly, part of the truth they have come to know denies the validity of alternate treatments, treatments such as Lee's, such as chiropractic and others, to control and help them with their symptoms. That too is understandable. After all, in the face of dramatic evidence to the contrary, evidence that can be found right here on this forum, modern medical research devotes its full faith and credit to the predetermined conclusion that Meniere's is incurable. The folks to whom I refer, quite understandably, believe that. So when someone such as Lee, such as myself, such as anyone who has conquered this disorder comes to the site to share some wonderful news about Meniere's, he or she can find themselves running into a brick wall. I understand that and I pray for these folks to find their own cures.

One redeeming aspect of all this, and one that Lee can take solace in, is that although we do not hear much from them, folks drop in and lurk constantly. Many of these folks can be helped because they have not forfeited the fight yet. So part of what Lee is doing, at least part of it, must be done merely because she knows its the right thing to do, putting the information out there for others to consider. Many who will never type a keystroke will consider her ideas and try them. Every now and them one might drop her a line, such as they have with me, to let her know that they were helped. I confess that I do find a certain gratification when someone tries the treatment that he or she read helped me and are successful with it. That is very satisfying. Yet we both must keep in mind that the truth is what we must remain focused on, not just results. One can control the dissimination of the truth, one cannot control the manner in which folks use the truth. For that reason, one who has a message of truth must find some inherent satisfaction in the mere broadcast of it, and not necessarily in how it is received. So if I were to give Lee any advice, that would be it. Concentrate on the message, not how it is received or used. If there is only one person out in cyberspace, one person who takes her message to heart and finds benefit from it, in a larger sense, that is what will make all of her effort worthwhile.

To the extent that Lee can speak the truth that she knows all too well without being bothered by what folks say, or don't say, about it, she will be better off. Concentrate on the message. Folks will receive it. Many will act on it. Many will have better lives because of it.

I understand your frustration.

Hank

 

Oh my, I turn my back for one minute .... (Lee here ... wrestled control back over the computer!).

Ah, no flowers required in this household. It's just my wonderful man telling me in his very unsubtle way that it's time for me to move on. I'm well, I've finished what I set out to do, so it frustrates him that I stay. Funny how with most things I listen, but when it comes to my mates on the forum, I get pretty stubborn. I have 5 years worth of friends here. But I know he's right. I'll just pop in and visit - say once a week. Ohhh, I can feel the withdrawal symptoms already! ;D

See you round like a rissole!

Lee.

 

Darrell,
There is no one treatment that helps everyone. This is practically a definition of menieres. I could also wish everyone here did what I did to feel better, but I am here for friendship and support, not to get frustrated with others who don't think they should try what I did. And I think for some it would not be the answer.
Lisa B

 

Thanks, Lisa B, well said - my feelings exactly.

 

"Your understanding of another person is limited by what you think you already know." (Byron Katie).
I just read that quote today, and it somehow seems appropriate.

No Marci I am not 'disappointed and upset' with him - quite the opposite. I'm proud that he cares enough to do this. To see through his eyes, Darrell has now successfully treated several people with meniere's (nothing to do with me). So Lisa and Joy, it's little wonder he gets frustrated, as he has watched 'impossible' turn to 'possible' over and over again.
But as I said, he wants me to move on, so his message was to me.

 

...I'm not sure I understand the need to move on but there's lots of things in this world I don't understand. In my way of thinking, your needed now more than ever. And what's wrong with hanging out with your friends if that's what you like to do? I come here because I want to and like to. If I felt it was a burden, I wouldn't do it.
...As far as your book and helping others, that's going to be a long drawn out "one at a time" process. I truly believe the success of your book is going to depend onthe new members as they come to the board. I think all the older members have already tried your treatment, so I wouldn't expect a sudden volume of books going out the door. But when one person orders your book and comes back to the board and tells their story of how it helped them, then more and more people will hop on board.
...Of course the problem will be those who get helped and then never come back to tell their story. But bottom line, if you like coming here on a daily basis, then continue to do so.
Rick

 

I agree with Rick 100%. If you enjoy coming here why move on? Just keep putting your message out there :-*

 

Now I am stunned.

Sent you a PM, Lee....

 

Darrell,

Shame on you for telling us what we should or shouldn't do. Meniere's is a very different animal in all of us and what works for some does not do anything for others. I have taken so many steps into trying to improve my lifestyle with Meniere's:
1986 Endolymphatic Sac Decompression
1987 Cody Tac Procedure
1991 Cody Tac Procedure
1992 Streptomyacin Injections
1995 Gent injection
1997 Gent Injection
2001 Meniett Device
2002 Endolymphatic Sac Decompression

I was treated at the Mayo Clinic from 1987-2001 which is considered one of the top medical facilities in the US. I also tried at least 20 different medications as a hope to prevent dizziness and each time something appeared to be working my body figured a way around it. I will be having a Cochlear Implant in December so that I can hear again. How can you criticize me because I haven't done something that worked for your wife. I appreciate the fact that you have been supportive for her. Why not do the same for the rest of us instead of slapping us in the face. Just take some time to think about what you have done.

Piggy

 

I agree. Please stick around, Lee!

 

I have no idea what Lee's book has to say but why do we have to criticize other people? Right now I am trying the John of Ohio regimen. John has been supportive and super friendly. If it does not work, he did everything he could to help me and I deeply appreciate it.

If you do not like this website, move on. I am not going to beg you to stay, nor should anyone else. Nor should this be a website for people to communicate with their spouses. (just my opinion)

If the book has merit, which I'm sure it does for you and many others, it is important to get the word out in a positive manner. I am willing to do and try anything to help eliminate or reduce my symptoms. I agree with Rick that the more success other people have the more the word will spread.

My two cents for the day. Heidi

 

Very well said. And to add to that, I question the legitimacy of this thread to start with.

 

This thread has left a bad taste in my mouth as well. If your husband was really trying to get a message through to you Lee, he sure chose the wrong delivery method. I think I'm going to try and not read this thread now before I get to the point of not wanting to read your book. So far my only delay has been money problems for which I hope to find some bit of relief in the early new year. I'm trying hard not to let negative attitudes like your husband's stop me from benefiting from all your hard work but it's hard not to mix the two up.

 

Lets not let this thread take a left turn folks. Not one of us should be interjecting the thought that this was not Lee's husband, or some other wrong motive.

 

---------------

 

Very well said Nursemom. I saw this post first thing this morning and was rather stunned myself, it was uncalled for in my opinion. Good things take time....and time heals all wounds, let forum members make their own decisions in their own time about their own health.

 

Lee, I hope you don't leave the board- it just won't be the same without you!

Brooke