Pathological liars. They are so obsessed with being seen as interesting!!

Written by a Psychologist, Quite interesting......

When people ask why people lie, they seldom realize the complexity of the question. My 14-year-old nephew asked me why people lie the other day, and although I have almost thirty years experience in forensic psychology, it took all of my resources to answer this question.
The truth is, as I told my nephew, that there is no simple reason why people lie, and there isn't even a simple way to say what a lie is. Is an omission a lie?
Maybe, maybe not, but if it is, it certainly isn't in the same way that a frank statement against fact is a lie. And is flattering someone, pretending that their dress looks better on them than it does for example, a lie? Before we can really answer the question of why people lie, we must be able to answer these questions, and there are no easy answers.

Some people lie because they can't help it, and these are called pathological liars. They are so obsessed with being seen as interesting, unusual, or perhaps different than they are, that they are able and willing to make up the most outrageous stories about their lives, stories that no one will believe, to try to convince them selves that things are different than they really are. Of course, this isn't quite the same reason why people lie in general, but it is close.
A simple answer to why people lie? Usually to impress others or to get out of a bad situation. Maybe they want to get away with not having done their homework, or having been late for work, or maybe they want others to think that they are more accomplished than they are so that they can have more respect from their peers. It is hard to tell in most situations why people lie, but it is easier to tell that they are lying.
One of the best cues to seeing that someone is lying is their body language. No matter why people lie, they tend to do it in certain ways that are easy to see once you learn the trick to it.
They don't necessarily fidget a lot, but often they will get stiffer than normal.
To contrast this, they might use exaggerated gestures or speak with different language than they usually do.
The bottom line is, that there are almost no people who can tell you why people lie, but anyone can learn to detect when other people are lying.

Love to all Jean F xx

 

i have been married to 2 such men - ???

 

watch the eyes

 

To Aladdin I've just read your reply and I cant stop laughing!! (Been married to such men) Its good to laugh!!

 

Good article. A family member was a pathological liar but was finally dx as bipolar and the meds have nipped the lying in the bud.

 

I found it so intersesting that I bought a book titled (How to spot a liar!) Jean F

 

Any take on why so many people are incapable of being honest with themselves?

 

low self esteem i guess! x

 

Good info wish I could give it to my X...

 

Send it to him he will know its him!!!! He!! He!!

 

may i have the link to the book; i have psychology books on several disorders - but would like a reader's digest version book of liars -


xox

 

Wish someone could explain to me why my ex just has to continue spreading very harmful lies about me since just prior to our divorce..He can not speak the truth when it comes to our past at all..Geeze, wish I had answers..sure does hurt me though..

Kaye

 

let me heal my foot and i will put my size eight and a half boot to his arse
sorry he's being a prick - but intrepid has wisdom

 

.

 

Re: Pathological liars. They are so obsessed with being seen as interesting!!

12 Tips for Overcoming Anger and Gaining Peace..... To Kaye.......Hope you are feeling a bit better!! I've been where you are now and the best thing you can do for yourself right now is learn how to cope with it, cause as someone has already said the truth always comes out in the end!! Why should you let yourself suffer anymore??? Read this dear Its really brilliant!! Im sure you will feel a bit better after reading it..... Love Jean F xx

Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness, or hurt feelings, or when plans don't turn out as desired. It also shows up when coming against opposition or criticism.
Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.
Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations. People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be always able to be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions. There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.
I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behaviour.
Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.
Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.
If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.
Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.
1. At least once a day, devote several minutes to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger.
2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and slowly several times.
3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.
4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.
5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.
6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don't like.
7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.
8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.
9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behaviour that otherwise could cause anger.
10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and more common sense.
11. Don't take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.
12. Find reasons to laugh more often.
Love to all Jean F xx

 

hug/prayers

 

Ubuntu, “Umuntu ngumuntu ngamuntu” – I am a person through other people: My humanity is tied to yours.
xo

 

I always remember what a dear friend said this to me.... "When a person is intent on hurting others, They themselves are hurting"........Love to all Jean F xx

 

yes indeed but they should hurt themselves and leave others alone; sorry that's not very Christian like but that is how i feel at the moment

xoxox

 

It's a sensible attitude actually.

There is no point to simply trashing people, particularly not in the way I had it done to me recently. I cannot even see what the person in question could have thought they had to gain--they just out of the blue, in the middle of an e-mail about something else, started spewing poison about me.

This is just plain evil. Period.