Breastfeeding (topic continued from CUJSTDCNT thread)

Su, it is evident you are a great mom and Intrepid is right. Good Luck keeping the PPD away this next time!

I had a baby 11 months ago. With both children, I breast fed (well, mostly pumped) for a short time until I went back to full-time work. I had 6 weeks unpaid maternity leave and had c-sections with both babies, so my time off was short. I have had amazing babies. Someone said their baby slept through the night by 3? Goodness! Baby girl started sleeping through the night at 2 months and my son at 7 months (he is 6 now).

While in the hospital, they were extremely supportive of breast feeding and I think they actually pushed it very hard. Lactation consultants were showing up all the time.

The only sick baby at daycare last week was the breast fed one. Go figure. I support parents with whatever choice they make.

Baby girl has never cried it out either. Lucky me, I guess. I have always been too afraid for co-sleeping because of the personal stories RH shared. Too terrified of that and I can not imagine the guilt I would have. They slept in my room until 4-6 months in their own bed, and then moved to a non drop down crib. I would love to cuddle her at night, but it is not worth the risk to me. Plus, she is a very busy baby and I would worry about her crawling off the bed while I was asleep.

To each their own. We all have to parent in the way that is best for our own children. Best to all the moms and dads. It is hard job, but the most rewarding on earth!

 

All of our kids lost a few ounces right after birth, but got it all back and then some.

 

Thanks everyone!!

Me- TOTALLY afraid to let my son sleep in our bed- or this new baby on its way..... with all my vertigo issues and my sleep issues... I would be so afraid I would roll over on my kid.

In the end, I love mommyhood- it's the best decision I've ever made and I am so lucky to have a really good little boy who is a total sweetheart. The toddler days are ROUGH though- omg- I teach 17 year olds and there are days I would rather be around their temper tantrums!

I just hope this new arrival is as easy!! No one ever believes me when I said that I never really had to let him cry it out- he slept through the night before I had to make that kind of decision....

Still I would like to try breastfeeding again. Without judgment or pressure on myself about what it all means. I am hoping because I am taking away the pressure that I will be more successful....

 

I believe you on the not having to cry it out. I've lived it now - twice .... I hope your second one is as good to you.

 

My mom bottle-fed us--but she said she never had to let us cry it out, either.

Babies who cry have a reason. We can't always tell what it is, but that doesn't mean the reason doesn't exist (hmm, just like Meniere's symptoms, hmmm).

My #2 son slept through the night when he was 6 weeks old--but that stopped in a hurry when I went back to work when he was 9 weeks. He didn't sleep through the night again til he was about a year old.

Once he started sleeping through the night, I put him in a bed with his 4-year-old brother. They CHOSE to share a bed (there were twin beds in the room) until #1 son was 9 and requested his own room.

#1 son didn't sleep through the night by himself until he was 8, even with his brother there. When he was 8, we were taking care of the neighbor's Border Collie. I told the dog that his was going to sleep with #1 son all night--and he did (VERY smart dog). #1 son slept all night holding the dog, and didn't wake once.

We did 2 other things:

We told the kids that they could come get in bed with us whenever they needed to, as long as they didn't wake us up. When baby #3 was born, we set up a toddler bed in the corner of our room, and told #1 and #2 that if they needed to be with us, they could get in that bed whenever they wanted (so they wouldn't risk harming the new baby).That's also where they slept when they were sick.

We would wake in the morning to find everyone in our bedroom--which was fine. Everyone got enough sleep, everyone was happy, everyone felt like all their needs were met.

For us, it worked.

Bottom line: do what works for you and for your baby. Nobody else can really tell you; all we can do is tell you what worked for US. If your instinct tells you not to sleep with your baby, listen to your instinct. If your instinct tells you that you and the baby need to sleep together, listen to that. It's YOUR instinct, and mama knows best!

 

My biggest fear once you have healthy mom and healthy baby is that I wont beable to breast feed long once my hubby and I have kids because I will be working the main money earning job and they might not be delighted with a teacher needing to pump every couple hours. I will have to be a working mom even if I dont want to be because we will not beable to make ends meet if I dont.

 

Are you employed by a public school, or private? Our neighbor teaches in a pubic school, and has amazing benefits--she was able to take a year off with each child and still have her job waiting for her, and quite a bit of it was even paid. Her union also had negotiated something where "Pumping time"" was guaranteed as part of "planning time," and she was able to pump 3 times during the day.

In my case, baby #2 and baby #3 refused the bottle, but I pumped anyway to help keep my supply up. They both nursed frequently during the night, but they slept with me.

I never worried about rolling on them (I'm a light sleeper)--I really believe that most moms who do have something else going on. There have been a few well-publicized cases of Mom rolling on and suffocating Baby in our area--and in ALL the publicized cases, Mom had been out drinking the night before. Doesn't mean it's true for all or even most, but I do think it's significant.

Anyway, if you DON'T feel comfortable sleeping with baby, that might not be the best scenario for you, but if you do, it just might.

Otherwise, if baby will take your milk from a bottle, pump what you can, supplement the rest, and continue for as long as you feel comfortable.

The other thing I did was to get to work 10 minutes earlier than usual, and pump as soon as I got there, and I pumped right before going home. My commute was long enough (about 40 minutes door to door) so that I wasn't totally empty by the time I got home, and the extra 2 pumping sessions REALLY helped keep my supply up. On long days (9-5), I would pump 5 times. On half-days (I have the world's weirdest work schedule), I would pump 3 times.

I also bought extra cone-thingamabobbers for the pump (what the heck are those CALLED?), so I always had clean ones. HUGE timesaver--at the end of the day, I would throw all but one pair into the dishwasher. One pair stayed at work, where I would wash it really well and let it air-dry. They make special sterile plastic bags (BPA-free!) that you pump into instead of a bottle, and those can be poured into a bottle for feeding, or can go directly into the freezer. They have a little place where you can write the date, so you don't keep them too long. And they're disposable--bad for the environment, but very convenient for an overworked mum!

 

If you haven't already done so, you might consult now (before you need to) with either a lactation consultant or a La Leche League person.

If you feel that whoever it is is coming on too strong about the bf thing (one friend of mine called her LLL person a "Breastfeeding Nazi," as she felt that this woman was ready to torture her into breastfeeding), try someone else.

 

I will be working for a public school, I imagine. Right now I am tempory and that means no insurance, so hubby and I are waiting until we have insurance to even think about babies. My disibility insurance makes it impossible to get medicaid though it isnt much. There are NO unions for teachers in this state. None. And to my knowledge South Carolina has only the federal laws in place to protect pregnate and nursing mothers. Those arent as good as they could be. We LONG to be parents. We are both great with kids, and want a family SO bad. I think it was my proclimation that I was going to have kids when I was a firefighter that got me let go so fast when the dizzies hit, but that is another story!
We need insurance before we start a family, because that is responsible. Even though my mommy instincts are screaming as hard as the birth control is working! LOL And I know the clock is ticking, I will be 34 in a couple of months and I already have some female issues that are supposed to make it really hard for me to concieve.
I will be in special education, as that is what my masters degree will be in. It will also make it possible to get a job. Most of these teachers dont get adequate planning time because they are so overworked and over loaded. This frightens me a little because I have seen the teacher that I will be working with this year not even get to have lunch because of the schedule she has to keep. And she has TWO assistants! Many teachers have none.
Oh I want to have babies, and I know I have to work. Its crazy because I know if I work we will have enough money to make it and insurance, but if I stay at home we will be on government assistance because of what my husband makes.

 

I wonder if you might be able to find a job at a daycare that has a private kindergarten? Many do, especially those who are associated with hospitals, and hospital daycares would have the hospital health insurance. That way, you would have on-site daycare (nurse at lunchtime!) (staff discount!), and you and your baby could commute together.

 

That would be nice! My BA degree (one of them, the other is history) is elementary education. They want early childhood folks for daycares. I kinda looked into the daycare thing a couple of years ago. It pays about minimum wage around here, unless you are the director or something, and goes up to about 10 bucks an hour in some daycares. I did a blanket application to the hospital a couple years ago for EMT, early childhood, and I think pharmacy tech (they'd pay to train on that one), never got a call back. My sister said (she worked at the hospital at the time) my degree made me "worth too much" to hire at low wages because I'd be gone as soon as something better opened. (My work record shows a very different story... LOL).
Jobs around here are none too plentiful. Especally jobs that have benifits. That's why my hubby has stayed put at his low paying job with NO benifits, because when they laied him off last year for 5 weeks, there was NOTHING out there. And what he was qualified for was so inundated with applicants he never got a call back from even one of the 25 or 30 he put in for. Not even one interview. He got called back to his old job, and we havent even thought about him looking for anything since. Because my degree is in teaching, I am not "qualified" for anything else, or so employers have told me in the past. I have certifications in rescue stuff out the wazoo, and tons of bookkeeping/human resources experience. But my part time job dryed up because they decided they needed a person to do my job that "has a degree in accounting". Though I had been doing it for three years, and was good at it too! They had TONS of applicants too for a job that paid 13 bucks an hour and no benifits. In a good economy they couldnt have filled the slot with a "qualified" person until they got the pay closer to 20 or so.
Wow, that seemed so bleak. I will be a school sub if no full time slots open next year. That is intermentant work at best in the next county (they have a closed roster in my county) until the budget cuts in education stop long enough to hire some more teachers. I might do "homebound" students next year if I can in my county (so the drive isnt too bad) No benifits but the pay is really really good. That would allow flexibility for sure, and if we can get on the pre-existing condition insurance the federal government has been behind, we could afford me to have insurance. Lots of "IFs" though. Lots of IFs.

 

You're right about the daycare--except for teaching kindergarten, for which they need someone with state certification. That plus your rescue stuff just might make you a very attractive applicant! (Also for private schools, which do pay less, but might be linked with daycares, such as at a church...)

There's also cyberschool (though your rescue stuff doesn't apply there!)...

 

TRH- I am a teacher and if I had breastfed, they would have been VERY supportive. Other teachers here did it and they made sure teacher had a private room and ample time- it worked out well in terms of preps and breaks and they even worked with her to come up with a good teaching schedule.

I had to be a working mom too but honestly- I love it this way.

Like I said I am not much of an attachment parenter- and I also like my adult world, adult friends, adult life. I enjoy my 8 hours of "me" time- which is what work really is for me- and I love my students and their company.

Then I am THRILLED to go home, see my little boy, and spend time with him. Every minute is precious. I am LUCKY because I am a teacher and I have so much time with him- I think it's hard when you work in a job that gives less time off. I feel like for me it's the best of two worlds- and I get to do the whole mom/kid thing in really a perfect way.


It's ok. I wasn't able to breastfeed for very long and it worked out. I had to get over my own issues more than anything else- I agree with Taximom, so much of it is about instinct, and I had to learn to trust mine. LOL- my son is a lot like me, kind of aloof and into his own thing, not too snuggly- so the whole sleeping on his own thing worked great for him. It may not be that way for the second and we will have to see.

Whatever gets everyone the sleep they need to survive- and we with Meniere's need our sleep- that is the strategy that has to work!!

 

Sounds to me like you ARE an attachment parent--and that you know your own nature, your son's and both your son's and your own needs well enough to have come up with the best possible scenario for the whole family.

One doesn't need to be a stay-at-home mum to be an attachment parent.

I think you are inspirational! And I hope it is just as easy for you the second time around. WHo knows? Maybe if your second baby is born needing lots and lots of snuggles, you will suddenly develop the same need, so it will still work out!

 

Cyberschool would be great, its just getting going here in this state in the last couple years. I know a couple of teachers that do it but they work that as their second job. Money is the reason I believe.

 

TRH- I dream of cyberschool too and am looking into it as a second job.

I think you would be a great teacher- I know it's such a tough field right now, and special ed is truly a different level of dedication..... I so admire the special ed teachers because your work load is more intense and all teachers work so hard..... You have such a varied life to offer to the kids and so much to give them.

I can tell you this: I am sure something will come up for you, teachers are needed, and especially special ed- especially GOOD teachers. It may take time but don't get discouraged. You will have your perfect job and your baby soon- and I know you said you are 32- I was a month shy of 35 when Samar was born and I will be 37 when this one is born. I had fertility issues too- and lost a baby to preeclampsia at 24 weeks of pregnancy- and have been through the ringer with it all. I miss a lot of teaching days due to this illness too- none of it is easy. But it's worthwhile. There is so much to help women who have fertility issues- and options that are out there. Sometimes nowadays even insurance plans help pay for the treatments.
While I have not been lucky with Meniere's doctors I have been VERY lucky with my OB and my perinatologist who work with me with my babies- they are the kinds of doctors I wish I could find for the Meniere's. Caring, comitted, invested- and if you find that, this journey is easier to deal with.

I know you will have it all..... you are so tough and you perservere. I have all my fingers crossed for the perfect teaching job for you in the meantime- stalk maternity leaves, too, btw, since sometimes those provide perfect openings and ins....

 

Dizzysu--I am so sorry to hear that you lost a baby.

I lost my first to a miscarriage, and nearly lost my second to preeclampsia. Years later, my OBGYN, who specializes in high-risk pregnancies and is heavily involved in research, told me that her practice now tests all preeclampsia moms for celiac, as they see the two conditions together a lot.

 

That's interesting Taximom, didn't know that about PE and celiac.

THanks for saying you're sorry too- but I think that going through it all is what gives me the grace and strength to deal with Meniere's.... I always feel like I can survive anything!! It was so strange- PE is so rare before 30 weeks and if it strikes early, you rarely walk out with a baby to bring home..... I won the bad lottery then. They told me over and over again that if I got pregnant again that I would be a 95% reoccurence rate since it was so early but probably more around 28 or 30 weeks, in which case they would deliver me and be prepared for a preemi.

With Samar I won the good lottery and was the opposite stat- no PE. He was born at 37 weeks.

With this pregnancy no one knows what on earth to tell me- especially now with the Menieres. People know so little abot Meniere's, throw in pregnancy and no dr is of much help, and what I know is mostly anecdotal from here in terms of women's experiences with it all. I've been told now- I have to have a C section because of the pressure in my ear and vertigo issues- I have also been told that's not true. We're kind of winging it and so far so good. As I said, I stay hopeful and keep it moving....positive outcomes are what matters. I want the best possible thing for the baby so I will do what I think is best- and I would like to try a VBAC too..... even if they are not thrilled I think they will support my efforts.

I read about your experience with mag sulfate- ugh. That stuff was awful. It made a devastating situation even uglier..... that drug is nasty, nasty stuff.

 

dizzisu, I wonder if it might be worthwhile to go off gluten, just in case? That would be something you should discuss with your OBGYN, though--do you have one that specializes in high risk?

I would also suggest that you ask him/her about monitoring your thyroid during and after pregnancy.

I had severe hyperemesis with all 3 pregnancies, too (also associated with celiac). You didn't mention that, so I assume you are lucky enough to not have to deal with that, too (I hope)?

 

I know two that lost babies to Preclampsia. Other pregnancies were fine. The docs said it was just one of those things.