Awakening - Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have

January 17 - The Friction of Being Visible

~It is only by risking ourselves from one hour to another that we live at all. - William James

Living through enough, we all come to this understanding, though it is difficult to accept: No matter what path we choose to honor, there will always be conflict to negotiate. If we choose to avoid all conflict with others, we will eventually breed a poisonous conflict within oursleves. Likewise, if we manage to attend our inner lives, who we are will - sooner or later - create some discord with those who would rather have us be something else.

In effect, the cost of being who you are is that you can't possibly meet everyone's expectations, and so, there will, inevitably, be external conflict to deal with - the friction of being visible. Still, the cost of not being who you are is that while you are busy pleasing everyone around you, a precious part of you is dying inside; in this case, there will be internal conflict to deal with - the friction of being invisible.

As for me, it's taken me thirty of my forty-nine years to realize that not being who I am is more deadly, and it has taken the last nineteen years to try to make a practive of this. What this means, in a daily way, is that I have to be conscientious about being truthful and resist the urge to accommodate my truth away. It means that being who I really am is not forbidden or muted just because others are uncomfortable or don't want to hear it.

The great examples are legendary: Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Sir Thomas More, Rosa Parks. But we don't have to be great to begin. We simply have to start by saying what we really want for dinner or which movie we really want to see.

 

To thine own self be true. To speak my truth. Not always so easy. But when I do this it sure feels good within.

 

This resonates and yet, sometimes somebody has to smile and go along or it is all just me me me all the time. It's nice if people will take turns.

 

I was thinking about that too today June.

First I want to say that it is not very often that we are told that it is ok to say no, that it is ok to follow our own path and our own truth but at the same time I know some very selfish people who live this way with no consideration of anyone else. Personally I don't care for these kind of people and avoid them.

The trick here is to find the middle ground where we are true to ourselves but still present and caring for others.

I guess it comes down to the fact for most of us that even when we listen to our being more it doesn't stop us from still being decent, kind and caring people, we are just healthier individuals.

 

The middle ground. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to follow the middle path but sometimes it is.

 

January 18 - The Spider and the Sage

~I would rather be fooled than not believe.~

In India, there is a story about a kind, quiet man who would pray in the Ganges River every morning. One day after praying, he saw a poisonous spider struggling in the water and cupped his hands to carry it ashore. As he placed the spider on the ground, it stung him. Unknowingly, his prayers for the world diluted the poison.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day, the kind man was knee deep in the river, and, sure enough, there was the spider, legs frantic in the water. As the man went to lift the creature yet again, the spider said, "Why do you keep lifting me? Can't you see I will sting you every time, because that is what I do." And the kind man cupped his hands about the spider, replying, "Because that is what I do."

There are many reasons to be kind, but perhaps none is as compelling as the spiritual fact that it is what we do. It is how the inner organ of being keeps pumping. Spiders sting. Wolves howl. Ants build small hills that no one sees. And human beings lift each other, no matter the consequence. Even when other beings sting.

Some say this makes us a sorry lot that never learns, but to me it holds the same beauty as berries breaking through ice and snow every spring. It is what quietly feeds the world. After all, the berries do not have any sense of purpose or charity. They are not altruistic or self-sacrificing. They simply grow to be delicious because that is what they do.

As for us, if things fall, we will reach for them. If things break, we will try to put them together. If loved ones cry, we will try to soothe them - because that is what we do. I have often reached out, and sometimes it feels like a mistake. Sometimes, like the quiet man lifting the spider, I have been stung. But it doesn't matter, because that is what I do. That is what we do. It is the reaching out that is more important than the sting. In truth, I'd rather be fooled than not believe.

 

~ Like ~

 

I love that except for the last sentence. That doesn't reach me but the rest of it does very much.

 

I thought of that saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

 

And some people don't think that way not because they are stupid but because that is not how they are. For me it doesn't involve any belief though.

 

Whoever wrote this is very altruistic. I wish that this is what "we" do. Unfortunately this is what some do, but not all. Although sometimes kindnesses can come from the unexpected, and that always touches the heart, at least it does mine.

 

like ~

 

I agree not all people are this way. Perhaps not most. But what I liked about it, is the writer got it. Altruism is inborn. It is the way we are. All the rest is just blah blah. People who are not altruistic cannot understand it and will look high and low for reasons, never finding the real one.

 

January 19 - Remembering and Forgetting

~What can I do to always remember who I really am?~ - Juan Ramon Jiminez

Most of our searching is looking for ways to discover who we already are. In this, we are a forgetful species, and perhaps what Adam and Eve lost when kicked out of Eden was their ability to remember what is sacred.

Thus, we continually run into mountains and rivers, run to the farthest sea, and into the arms of strangers, all to be shaken into remembering. And some of us lead simple lives, hoping to practice how not to forget. But part of our journey is this forgetting and this remembering. It is a special part of what makes us human.

So what can we do? Well, it is no secret that slowness remembers and hurry forgets; that softness remembers and hardness forgets; that surrender remembers and fear forgets.

It is beautifully difficult to remember who we really are. But we help each other every time we fill the cup of truth and hold each other up after drinking from it.

 

So what can we do? Well, it is no secret that slowness remembers and hurry forgets; that softness remembers and hardness forgets; that surrender remembers and fear forgets.

~Like~

 

I like this alot too.

 

January 20 - Being Easily Pleased

~One key to knowing joy is being easily pleased.~

So many of us have been trained to think that being particular about what we want is indicative of good taste, and that not being satisfied unless our preferences are met is a sign of worldliness and sophistication. I remember being at a party where a woman wouldn't accept her drink unless it was made with a certain brand of vermouth. She was, in fact, indignant about it. Or going to dinner with a colleague who had to have his steak prepared in a complex and special way, as if this particular need to be different was his special public signatiure. Or watching very intelligent men and women inscribe their circle of loneliness with criteria for companionship that no one could meet. I used to maintain such a standard of excellence around the sort of art I found acceptable.

Often, this kind of discernment is seen as having high standards, when in actuality it is only a means of isolating ourselves from being touched by life, while rationalizing that we are more special than those who can't meet our very demanding standards.

The devastating truth is that excellence can't hold you in the night, and, as I learned when ill, being demanding or sophisticated won't help you survivie. A person dying of thirst doesn't ask if the water has chlorine or if it was gathered in the foothills of France.

Yet, to be accepting of the life that comes our way does not mean denying its difficulties and disappointments. Rather, it means that joy can be found even in hardship, not by demanding that we be treated as special at every turn, but through accepting the demand of the sacred that we treat everything that comes our way as special.

Still, we are taught to develop preferences as signs of importance and position. In fact, those who have no preferences, those who are accepting of whatever is placed before them, are often seen as simpletons or bumpkins. However, there is a profound innocence in the fact that sages and children alike are easily pleased with what each day gifts them.

The further I wake into this life, the more I realize that God is everywhere and the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is in both the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. Yes, God is under the porch as well as on top of the mountain, and joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.

 

For sure. Life is so much easier being a cheap thrill.

 

I have read the last 3 entries and oh my gosh did they hit home. I was a people pleaser and stopped, it wasn't easy.

To thy self be true.

I remember my mom always saying, when you look in the mirror, as long as YOU know YOU are being honest with yourself, then you are.

Caroline, you have lots of wisdom as my mom did :-*

 

Thank you Ruth sweetie but it is not my wisdom. Although I love everything I am reading I am just not that smart to put that all together.

It all comes from a book of Awakening that I received for Xmas.

I only wish I could write like that where your words can touch people.