Welcome to my Humour Page
This page is not meant to insult or offend anyone, its just my attempt at putting a different perspective on coping with menieres disease, the humorous side of things. Sometimes I just have to laugh or I will cry. Thanks to all my MM friends for contributing their mm moments.
Menieres 101
You Know That You Have MM When:
1. You are walking down the hall and the walls are crooked.
2. The walls jump out at you (BOO!)
3. You look down the stairs and they looks straight like a slide...weeeeeeee!!
4. You fall UP the stairs!
5. You sing along with sounds only YOU hear!
6. You walk into a room and forget WHY, then you walk out and forget where you came from???
7. You wander the halls of a familiar building and wonder where you are?
8. One minute you are standing, the next you are on your butt wondering what just happened!
9. The horizon bounces up and down as you walk *Boing..Boing..Boing*!!
10. You walk into a wall that was further away (I swear it was)??
11. You stumble and fall over a piece of fuzz!
12. You feel like someone is sitting on your head and squeezing your ears!
13. There is an entire bell choir playing in your head!
14. When your husband takes the car keys, accidentally, everyday!
15. When your son looks at his auburn haired mother, and says "Are you sure you aren't blond?"
16. When you just get off the internet and decide you have to check your email!!
17. You know the location of every public restroom in town, and just how long it will take you to get to one!
18. You see things that others don't see!
19. Where did my balance go, it was here just a minute ago!!!
20. Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes!
21. The world spins around you 100 mph, well its better than you spinning around the world!!
22. Now that I've fallen down, I might as well pick something up while I'm down here.
23. Umm what was I just saying, sorry brain fog today!!
24. When the power goes out, you keep trying to turn on the light switch to see so you can light your candle.
25. When you are talking on the phone to someone who is telling a long boring story so you decide to log on to the internet as a distraction and the phone keeps cutting off and you can't connect to the internet and neither of you know what is going on so you decide to end the conversation and hang up the phone and then realize that the reason all this occurred is your modem is connected to your phone.
26. You can't find your dog's leash to take her for a walk so then you go to get a drink of water and find it in the fridge, now how did that get here?????
27. You find the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the refrigerator.
28. Your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went but you forgot where?
29. When you bend over to pick up something you dropped and you can't stand back up by yourself without falling on your face. ( I call this a lip-stand).
30. When the hallway is only about 100ft long and you cover 300ft before you reach the end because you zig-zag back and forth before you get there.
31. If you look for a coffee cup in the microwave and the coffee in the fridge
32. If you get up out of your chair, walk to the bathroom and then can't remember why.......
33. If you tell someone the cucumbers (which are in the fridge) are in the microwave.
34. If you pick up the telephone and then can't remember who you were going to call.
35. If you spend 15 minutes every morning trying to decide if you have or have not taken yours pills yet.
36. If you dress for church on Sunday, but drive to work instead.
37. If you drive to the site of yesterday's business meeting and wonder what in the world you are doing there when you were supposed to go to the office today....
38. You are standing in the shower and realize you are washing your face with hair conditioner.
39. You put shaving cream on your face and then turn and start to take a shower without using the razor.
40. If you try to use your TV remote control to open your car doors.
41. If you put your pan containing food on the kitchen stove and remember to turn on the heat 20 minutes later after remembering you did this because you were hungry.
42. If you look for your dishrag for 15 minutes then get another one and later in the day find it in the fridge.
43. If you wash your hair in the shower then wash the rest of you, then wash your hair, then the rest of you........
44. If your microwave always has a cup of water in it (not for safety reason....its the cup of tea you were making last night).
BRAIN FOG POEM
My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke
to you that may seem funny
but, to me, that is no joke
For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through
I haven't got a prayer!
Often times I walk into a room
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain but all in vain
A zero, is my score
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat
The, when the person walks away
I ask myself "who was that?"
Yes my forgetter's getting better
While my remember is broke
And its driving me plumb crazy
and that isn't any joke
- author unknown
A concerned husband went to the doctor about his wife. He said, "Doctor, I think my wife if becoming deaf because she never hears me the first time so I always have to repeat things." Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight and stand about 15 feet from your wife and say something to her. If she doesn't reply, move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this and we'll get an idea about the severity of her hearing loss." The husband went home and did exactly as instructed. He stood about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables. He said, "honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response so he moves closer and asks again. Still no reply, so he gets fed up and moves right behind her about an inch away and asks again, "honey, whats for dinner?" To this his wife replied, "for the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
Patient: Doctor I keep thinking I'm Mickey Mouse
Doctor: Really how long have you been having these "DISNEY SPELLS"?
Learning Memory Tricks
Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of them asked the other, "Fred how was the memory clinic you went to last month? "Outstanding", Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques; visualization, association, etc..it was great." That's good news, what was the name of the clinic? Fred went blank and he thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" You mean a "ROSE?" Yes that's it, and he turned to his wife and said, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
A Man goes to his doctor and says, gee doc I can't remember anything maybe there's some kind of memory medicine you can give me. You see I'm getting terribly forgetful. I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do he ask glumly? The doctor's reply was "PAY ME IN ADVANCE!"
Brain Fog - by CathyK in NY
Brain fog is my companion, I may not remember
It maketh me to place things down in strange places
It restoreth nothing I lose
And leadeth me in the path of confusion
For the sheer heck of it
Yea though I walk through the valley of utter puzzlement
I will fear no forgetfulness
My family and friends, they remind me
Thou preparest to confound me in front of everyone around me
Thy bewilderment & puzzlement doth befuddle me
Thou annointest my head with bafflement
My cup runneth over (because I forgot to stop pouring it)
Surely confusion and laughter shall follow me
All the days of my life
And I shall dwell in the house of bewilderment occasionally
-------------------------------------------
Thank you for visiting my website. I hope that you have found enough information and encouragement here to help you or your loved ones cope with this horrible disease. Just remember that you are not alone. There are thousands of people around the world suffering from this and many more new dx everyday.