Would you call or leave it alone?

I've heard from three people that a mutual friend's husband has Meniere's Disease. He was recently diagnosed and really having a hard time. My mother in law had a conversation with her about what I've been through and she told me that she'd call me. I was expecting a phone call from her but never received one. I used to be pretty close to on of their daughter's, but moved farther away (still in same area) and hardly have contact with them anymore.

Should I call or wait for them to call me?? The only reason why I would call is because I have learned SO much more about Meniere's since I was first diagnosed and sometimes what you get in the dr.'s office isn't the ONLY approach (as many of you know). Also, I've seen several specialists in my area and some are really good and some not so much....at least I wasn't impressed. I would hate for him to not know about these other avenues, regardless if he choosed to explore them or not, but I don't want to meddle either. What do you think?

Nancy

 

Honestly, I'd wait for them to call you if they choose. It may seem intrusive if you call them despite your good intentions. That's just me though.

 

I'd renew the offer.

It wouldn't hurt to suggest to her that you take the first step to initiate contact. See what she says to that.

Joe

 

I'd call. If it were me, I'd be grateful someone bothered to try and help during a horrible time.

 

When I first lost my hearing, I had a friend/colleague who had been hard of hearing since childhood. Her support and advice, although not solicited initially, were so important to me. Now I rely heavily on this board and my new friends here - cause it's always easier with someone who REALLY gets it....my advice ... pick up the phone.

 

I would wait for them to call.

 

If it has been a while, I'd call the wife and just say you were thinking of him as you have been through the same thing and say if there is any questions he would like to ask you or anything you could do, you'd be very happy to do so.

 

Hi, i think i would wait for them to call me, remember when we first started with mm and mav, and how we thought everyone was just sticking their nose in where it didnt belong with all the "free" advice we were given by people.. They will call when the time is right.. Take care Peg ;D

 

I would call, without question! Let us know what happens!
Paige

 

I would call it would of been so nice to have found this board or a person for my first year of this. Instead I was alone and thinking it was all in my head. if you make the call and they are not open to it at least you extended a hand.
Cheryl

 

When DH was in the hospital awaiting bypass surgery, a woman volunteer came around. She had had the surgery herself and she asked DH if he had any questions. Now he is not a person who normally likes strangers or anyone butting in to his life. But he asked her one question ' How long til you were able to go back to work?' and she answered it. That's all he asked and all she told him I think (or at least all he related to me). But that one question must have been the thing that was weighing on his mind. I am thinking what helps a lot of times is not to give a lot of advice but to let someone know you will happily answer any question they have - perhaps by telephone or email. You know a person first dealing with this has a lot of questions.

 

For me, I'd wait. But do what you think. I am hesitant to refer people to this site, because while it is wonderful for me, there are also a lot of people who struggle severely with menieres here, and I think we have topics that also present menieres at its worst sometimes. My guess is the normal population does not have it so bad. It's nice you care and want to help. Lisa

 

listen to your gut; call if it prompts you too - offer your friendship; ear; and assistance and don't push it -

best wishes - thank you enough for caring

 

I would call if it were me, just to say you had heard he was diagnosed with MM and was wondering how he was doing. If he doesn't want the support his wife just might need it.
You will know with the first call whether they want your support or not, and you will at least be satisfied knowing that you DID offer.
Loretta

 

I agree with Aladdin in "going with your gut", but if it were me, I would call. Its kind of like asking for something, permission, or even a raise, the worse case scenerio is that they tell you "thanks, but no thanks." I know with me, I would have been DELIGHTED if anyone had called me offering advice or help when I first got this crap. I was so sick, confused, and just in the "why me" state. So, if you feel okay with it, call, the worse they can do is hang up on you, but then again, you may be a HUGE help to them. They may be shy and just not know how to reach out to people and if you can be the one reaching out to them, it might make a world of difference. I'd go for it!

 

Well - I wouldn't call - because I hate to be put on the spot on the phone.

But what I WOULD do is write a short, heartfelt letter letting him know a little of the challenges you faced, offering to chat and give him a reference to this site. That way - if he wants to remain anonymous he can. A letter always seems less intrusive to me. If I'm not ready for the advice I can just toss it - there aren't any witnesses. Plus - without knowing how bad his hearing is - he may already have a phone phobia.

 

That's a good idea fcclimber! A nice card might be nice!

 

I am going to send a card... I was actually thinking about that as I was reading the posts, and then to see it offered as a suggestion sealed the deal. I would email if I knew their email address.

I will send it out today and he will get it in the next day or so because he lives about 5 miles from me and our mail moves fast.

I'll let you know what the outcome. Thanks for the support. You guys came through once again! Group hug for everyone!
Nancy

 

I hope it works out and I hope he accepts your help!

 

So, did you send the card? I'm anxious to see how it all comes out.