"Well, you can hear me" and other ignorant comments

I agree - #1 You look alright to me...

I've also gotten the 'oh yeah I know what you're going through - my mom has it too - but she doesn't use meds and just has the doc do a quick maneouvre once in awhile and she's fine again.'

 

Tracy - I'll have to try that!!!

 

I've posted this one the other day......'it must be cool to feel dizzy all the time'...when I explain how vertigo feels similar to the dizziness when drunk in bed. I don't think they realise that you still have to face the day and look after the kids etc feeling like that!! Trying to walk straight or pick a child up off the floor without falling flat on your face!

 

dizzyshaney,

You may need to find a different analogy to something that people don't find so pleasant (I can't imagine why they think being drunk in bed with the room spinning is so great.)

How about you've been at the state fair all day. Eatting everything in sight. Stuffed to the gills with elephant ears and hot dogs and you decide to get on the tilt-a-whirl. I can't imagine anyone who would think that's fun.


DC,
Let me know how the mumbling works!

Tracy

 

Trish,
Loved your poem.
Yes that is #1 "You look alright to me"
I have a friend who suffers with Crone's disease and looks great. We understand each other and after we tell our tales of woe for the week, we say to each other as a standard joke, "but you look great!"

My sister-in-law constantly insinuates that she is better than me, because she
"doesn't let little things get to her."

I went to a doctor once who kept walking behind my back to talk to me. I had to keep swinging my head around to try to understand him. He was trying to "test my hearing." When I asked if I could have a real hearing test, he said there was no time. I never went back.

 

Yet, it is true.

Living to live with it is a very difficult mental battle but once conquered, life can be lived again.

 

definately number 1 with "you'll just have to learn to live with it" second

 

My dear Hubbie is extremely supportive of my condition. I haven't had a major hearing loss, but it fluxuates along with tinnitus.

Tonight the understanding guy (he really is ) says to me after I asked him to turn the music down (I was sitting right under the speakers :-\):

"You can have the TV up loud cause you can't hear it, but want me to turn down the sterio."

The TV doesn't resonate through me (except for commercials) but boy a stereo seems to be IN me! It's something HE will have to learn to live with! LOL

 

I can remember only to well like it was yesterday..........my ENT at the time told me he thought that I had a tumor and needed a Cat
Scan

What he did not tell me was that it was most likely benign

As I recall it was not a very good Xmas that year

 

I've handled this one a couple of different ways. I ask them if they also make fun of people in wheelchairs, amputees, or people who use a white cane or guide dog. Of course, they always say no, of course not--to which I respond "Why then, do you think it's OK to make fun of hearing loss?" Shuts them up very quickly.

I don't have a severe hearing loss, but do have problems with word recognition, so it is sometimes necessary for me to ask someone to repeat themselves, sometimes more than once. This sometimes elicits a derogatory remark about my less-than-perfect hearing. To this I respond, "Do you think I CHOOSE to be hard of hearing?" It usually embarrasses the hell out of them.

 

Right up there with "you look fine to me" and "you'll have to learn to live with it"
is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle". That one is enough to incite me to violence. It's beyond offensive.

 

What gets me with all of these is the fact that almost 100% of the time the comments come from folks who get a hang-nail and want you to be very sympathetic and sit by their bedside holding their hand until it grows back.--NEVER making any unkind remarks about how their problem is "nothing"

Willie Marie

 

My all-time fave is not really a comment, but more behavior.
You say, "Look at me, speak clearly, then I can READ what you're saying"
They go, "Back toward you (or in another room) shouting at the top of their lungs until they almost turn red in the face."
And what frustrates me beyond belief is that when you're with a hearing partner, people talk to the hearing person and tend to completely ignore you.

But one comment which always makes me feel like committing first-degree murder is : I prefer to be deaf over blind.
While I don't (they wouldn't, too) want to be neither !

 

I love it, do you mind if If I use it too?

 

I am very flattered that you like my comment enough to want to use it yourself. Hope it serves you well!

 

My two both come from the same doc
"We all experience some hearing loss as we get older"
"You're young enough to cope with it"
Surely a contradiction of terms??

By the way, I'm 43. Not sure whether that's too old or too young!

 

Its official then......... this world is full of ignorant arseholes

 

I hate "Get over it - life's not all about you!"

Or when I can't understand a comment and ask for a repetition "Oh, never mind!" with an accompanying roll of the eyes.

Joe the Bee - Helen Keller said Being blind disconnects you from things, being deaf disconnects you from people. (not exact quote - sorry).... I think SHE should know!

Also hate hearing professionals who respond to my comment that I have lost all my hearing friends "Get new friends!" Now, should I advertise in the personals section "Wanted: friends for boring deaf person."?

Also hate when hubby & I meet someone who knows I am deaf, and they act like I don't exist - no eye contact, no attempt at conversation with me. They ask my hubby how I am, how I am doing. HELLO!!!! I'm still a person here!!! They laugh and talk and never look at me to explain the topic of conversation or acknowledge that I am in the room.

 

I prefer to think of them as uneducated. I can't believe people are purposely stupid or cruel. I'd like to think that once they know better, they would do better.... :

One year I wanted to go to the fair so badly, but could barely stand up. I was in my "just do it" mode, so we took my wheelchair, which I pushed most of the way once we got there.

When DH was pushing me, though, I noticed that the vendors in the Home Improvement building were SO nice - they would lean over, get right in my face, yell "HOW....ARE.....YOU.....TODAY?" at the top of their lungs. Then they would thrust whatever promotional crap they were selling into my lap.

If we did stop at a booth to ask questions, though, I noticed everyone talked to DH, not to me, even if I was the one who asked the question.

 

My daughter brought a new friend over this weekend. The girl is blind and has a seeing eye dog. I noticed one thing about the girl. Every time SHE talked to ME she looked me in the eye--so I returned the favor--I know she couldn't see me but I got to thinking about it--she could hear the direction my voice was coming and would know if I was looking or not. It wasn't that difficult--like actually looking at us and talking isn't that difficult! Like you have said--we are people too. I'm not deaf but do have trouble sometimes (but only sometimes) with word recognition. (When the MM is flaring up and my ears are clogged) People seem to think that either I should hear all the time or none of the time. :-\

I did like your comment about advertising in the paper--you know--it is crazy enough it just might work. (Ok, Iknow you were joking--but it gave me a laugh anyway.)


Willie Marie