Very bad news

Hi All ~

My x-ray just came back noting a 1 inch nodular in my lower left lung. If it hadn't been for the mold exposure w/difficulty breathing/asthma, etc., I wouldn't have had this chest xray and my primary never requested this. The radiologist is recommending a catscan -stat. I will hear tomorrow when I go in for this to be done, then I am off to a pulmonologist with knocking knees and chattering teeth. Of course the unknown is totally worse right now and going it all alone, I have no one to help console me and help me thru this. My cats are doing their best to help keep me calm, by distracting me with their demands to be fed, LOL \\^..^// meow

While I was waiting for the doc to come in, my door to the exam room wasn't closed and so I heard my name mentioned. It was a grim report from the nurses I listened to about the possible outcome of this catscan, so by the time the doc got to me, I was hyperventilliating and in a full blown panic attack.

Also, the immunological blood tests came back noting that I am now immuno-compromised and I have to now be followed for this by my immunologist. Another long sheet of more blood tests and treatment relating to these new findings was handed to me on my way out the door. Great.... so now am I the new poster bubble girl ????

After hearing that, I then had a bad Menieres attack. The world spun around on me and down to the floor I went as I was leaving the waiting room. They all had their hands full with me for about an hour trying to get me back to regular breathing and calming me down. I cried all the way home.

Still waiting to hear about the mold blood tests. Me thinks this may be paling in comparison? The immunologist is doing research if the mold may have caused these issues I am now facing.

A very scary time for me.

Sparrow

 

you are in my prayers

many huggs!!

 

Sparrow... so sorry to hear that.. on top of suffering with MM you are now hit with this.... I can't imagine what you must be going thru but know that you are being thought of and prayers will be said for you. I can understand how you had an attack after hearing news like that... and quite honestly with the door not being shut before the doctor came in to talk to you is unacceptable! they should know better than to do that. I am so sorry.

How did you have exposure to mold?? Just wondering what happened.
hang in there and post anytime if you need to talk.

take care
GinaMc

 

I'm so sorry Sparrow, what an absolutely awful time for you.
Your in my thoughts - let's hope the docs come back with some good news for you.

<<<Big Hugs>>>
Amethyst

 

Prayers and hugs. You are stronger than you think you are!

 

Sending you lots of positive and good thoughts, Sparrow. :-*

 

Aw. Sparrow, I'm so sorry to hear this...remember it could be several things...not always the worst case scenario.

I was just about to post today and ask how you were doing since you moved away from the mold, too.

I'll be praying for you.

 

So sorry to hear about your news. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are stronger than you think. Find something to help take your mind off your problems for a little while. Keep us posted on your findings.

KareBare

 

Your thoughts and prayers are helping me thru the worst part - tonight after hearing this frightening news and being alone with no one at arms reach for a hug. It's a comfort to know that you all care ((((heartfelt hugs)))

I will say that the cats are no longer sneezing and are more active. Have I noticed any difference, not yet, but then I have all this new news so, well, things are very muddy right now until I find out what the cat scan means. Hopefully I will get it done tomorrow.

MM is very active tonight and that is making it all the more difficult.

I still keep thinking this is happening to someone else.

Sparrow

 

Well, you have us....to console and support you.

How scary! Think positive thoughts: you WILL be ok, you WILL get the care you need.

 

Sending <hugs> your way, too. We'll be thinking of you. Time to watch a distracting funny movie, cats on lap, and hot tea or cider to sip.

 

Sparrow,

OMG! Like you didn't have enough going on already. Sweetie, just know that if I was any where near you I would be over in a flash to give you one huge hug! I'm glad the cats have stopped sneezing! That's a really good sign, so the new apartment is clear of mold!

The best I can do is a huge cyber {{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}

You will be in my prayers, we are here if you need us.

Tracy

 

Thank you for your cyber hug Tracy and yes, the mold test came back clear in my new apartment

The distractions .... let's see, wish House was on tonite, LOL. Thanks for the reminders JRW as I can't think straight right now

Thank you Thornapple !!! for the positive reinforcements.

I am reminded of this song that I will share with you. I heard it on "Six Feet Under" This will be my mantra during my upcoming tests :

Calling on Angels ~ Calling on Angels
Walk me thru this one; don’t leave me alone
Calling on Angels ~ Calling on Angels
We’re tryin and we’re hoping
But we’re sure not how

Calling on Angels ~ Calling on Angels
Walk me thru this one; don’t leave me alone
Calling on Angels ~ Calling on Angels
We’re tryin and we’re hoping
But we’re sure not how
We’re loving and we’re hurting
We’re crying and we’re calling
‘Cause we’re not sure how this goes

Calling All Angels

Sparrow

 

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time, I will keep you in my prayers.

Amy

 

Prayers and many positive thoughts coming your way.

 

Oh, dear. What an awful situation you find yourself in. The first wave of bad news almost always leaves us with a disconnected feeling; just like you say, it leaves us with the sense that it …”is happening to someone else.” We become spectators in our own lives.

I had a similar incident when I was regaining consciousness right after an operation. I overheard nurses talking about me as I laid in a post op recovery room. My hearing had recovered even though the rest of me was barely working. They said something like “Oh, is he the poor man whose operation failed?” I thought “crumbs”. (That’s my private cuss word.) After I finally awakened in full, I spent the next two hours waiting for the surgeon to apologize.

I send you hugs in hopes they will comfort you and give you grounding. Remember to breathe deeply. Things will look better in the morning.

Joe

 

Hi Sparrow, lots of prayers from me. Let's hope for the best.....I have been through so many tests in 20 years, and often it came out better than I hoped. The same hope for you too. Lisa

 

Oh, Sparrow, I'm sorry you're going through all this...but I know, like Linda said, that you are stronger than you think you are.

So take some nice deeeeeep breaths, hug those kitties, and find something to occupy your mind other than what the worst-case scenario would be with your test results. It's true...so often what we fear most may never come to pass.

You are in my prayers....

deercharmer

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and please keep us posted.

{{{hugs}}}
Maggie

 

Sparrow {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and those kitties

and try not to worry bout the what ifs until they happen...it might be nothing serious

Hang in there sweetie abd keep us posted please...we are all here to help you

Maggie

ps I too live alone and know that that is harder sometimes especially with worrisome things happening, but you are STRONG