The Reflection Room

Discussion in 'Your Religion & Spiritual Corner' started by Intrepid, Oct 24, 2010.

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  1. lulu48

    lulu48 New Member

    My older brother tried to commit suicide in April of this year by overdosing on Percocet. It scared the hell out of me thinking I may lose my brother and best friend. I know it is wrong to feel this way but a part of me was so angry with him that he could be so selfish as to put our family through this.

    I know he had problems and depression is prevalent in my family. I just don't understand how he could have thought that the solution to his troubles was to take his own life and leave his two daughters without a father. He told me he was having an exceptionally bad day and saw no other way out. He didn't want to worry me because he said I have enough problems of my own.

    I still get a little pissed off when I think about it.
     
  2. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    I wish I could wake up every day like I used to with a smile on my face and knowing that today was going to be a good day. I don't even plan for a day any more cuz I never know where my emotions will take me. Eeryone keeps telling me they miss the old me. They never stop to think about how much I miss her too...
     
  3. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    I wish I had enough money to go on a trip...maybe next year
     
  4. Titus

    Titus New Member

    I had to sit through another boring meeting in front of a tiny 15 inch computer screen, learning our new online course delivery system. Now they expect me to train everyone in my Department. Ten years ago, this would not even be a blip on my radar screen but now it's a major challenge.

    Scheduling a meeting AHEAD of time is almost impossible because my symptoms are so unpredictable. I am training two backups. Yes, I am greatful for having a job that pays good money but it's getting harder and harder to not be totally worn out every day.

    It's 7 pm and I'm going to bed.

    Tomorrow is another day.

    PS For the one that might be concerned: It was 84 again today!!!!!
     
  5. leviticus

    leviticus Jonah's whale

    Is it possible to break all the thermometers so that no one knows what the temperature is??
     
  6. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    I want to see what would happen if all the clocks broke ;D
     
  7. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    I wish I had even some of the educational background of a lot of individuals on this site. Then I wouldn't be saying, 'duh?' all the time...
     
  8. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    I wish I knew why I was woozy off and on today....
     
  9. June-

    June- New Member

    Aggressive people are boring, an even greater sin.
     
  10. CarolineJ.

    CarolineJ. New Member

    Gotta have a quiet day today, over did it trying to have a life yesterday.
     
  11. Lorrie K

    Lorrie K New Member

    Why do I have so much stress and worry in my life right now? My health situation alone is enough. Enough already!!!
     
  12. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    I wish the alarm would have been set right.... I hate being late for work.... or anything for that matter!
     
  13. Butterfly

    Butterfly I will learn to fly agian.

    I dont really know what to think or feel anymore. Yesterday I was informed I have 30% kidney function left. I dont have to have dialysis yet but if I lose anymore function then thats what is going to happen. On top of this shock it also appears a have a serious low blood pressure problem on my hands and now have to monitor my blood pressure at home.

    My meds are all being adjusted I had to go off topomax and my diuretic has been reduced to half the amount I was taking awhile ago. I thought this would help my kidneys and found out yesterday it hadnt. Now I have to try to reduce my heart medication to see if we can get my blood pressure up. I hope my heart cooperates I guess I will find out.

    My menieres and silent migraines are more out of control than ever. I have been warned by two doctors in the past two days how very sick I am they dont want to discourage me but I need to see the situation for what it is they said. I still am going to a University in my state in early Jan 2011 to see a neurologist but now I have to focus on my kidneys and blood pressure and certain medications I will never be able to have now.

    Im having alot of grief now trying to wrap my brain around what is happening in my downward spiral. But no grief I could ever have compares to what I see my children going thru due to my declining health. I make sure I dont cry in front of them and put on a strong front for them. My 19 yr old son is having the hardest time with this he put a status on FB this morning pleading with God to make my suffering stop. It breaks my heart more than I can say that my children are suffering because of me. I feel as thou I have failed them.
     
  14. Cara

    Cara New Member

    Excellent idea as always Intrepid.....

    Just returned from a trip back home to Georgia. My exhusband refuses to let me have a lot of my belongings, when I left, I bascially left with the clothes and whatever I could fit into my car.
    My son snuck into the house and got my mother's manger set that her greatgrandfather made for her and he also managed to get my father's pipe. I was so happy.
    My sister let me bring home movies that my mother took for the past 20 years, Christmas', birthdays, my childrens school plays, ballgames. I stayed up until midnight watching some of them. Back then, I didn't realize how important those tapes would become. I was sent back in time and could see and hear the voices of my loved ones who are now gone. My mother's voice, my father's whistling, my grandfather talking. I couldn't stop watching. It was like being in the same room with them all again. Thank you Mom!
     
  15. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    I've been crying for absolutely no reason...how weird is that? I think it may be cuz I'm missing my son so much. I just saw him yesterday but I hate going there.

    Isn't it something that you can tell your kids a million times exacely what's going to happen to them if they do...whatever, and they never, never listen. Then when it does happen (and it always does) they say 'you were right Mom'?

    I did the same thing. I was lucky and got out of it before it was too late. Those days are my worst regret. I wasn't there for my son when he needed me. Oh, there was a roof and food. There was school and homework. But there wasn't the one on one support that was supposed to be there for him. He's a great guy that takes the wrong road sometimes. We have a fantastic relationship but he , in the end, got his way. I'm alone except for him. I get lonely sometimes but I'm actually glad most of the times that I have no one to take into consideration but myself. Nothing I 'have to' do for someone else. No place I 'have to' go because of someone else. Right now, no one could stand to be part of the life I live except for maybe someone just like me...Hey, maybe that's why I cry for no reason, weird huh?
     

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