Stages We Go Through With a Chronic Disease or Condition

Discussion in 'Meniere's Disease "Database"' started by dizzjo, Sep 27, 2006.

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  1. Heidi

    Heidi New Member

    I'm a newbee just been told i have menieres.but lived with it a long time since i was 7 from what i can remember ,i'm almost 40 now,reading this post helped me understand the feelings i have had,through the years i had alot of denial,I would play it off like I felt ok,to friends and famley,but really did' efected my life alot,things i could do and things i could'nt [good days bad days] depression usually fallowed the bad days ,its still a strugal for me.but learning more about it ,helps me deal with the emotional and the fisical efects if menieres.thank you for posting this .Heidi
  2. Bastet

    Bastet New Member

    I'm stuck at No 6, though i do find myself going back to 4 and 5. I'm not at 7 yet. I feel almost as if acceptance is defeat. I know deep down that this is not true, but I still see my acceptance as allowing Meniere's to control me. I hope this is normal. :)
  3. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    I was told by 2 different dr's at 2 different hospitals it is most likely hereditary. So I dug back into my family tree and found my uncle had all the symptoms but back then they didn't know what it was and my grandmother (his mother) had also had dizzy spells. Whether it is or not I don't really know for sure but there does seem to be a pattern in my family.
  4. memaw

    memaw New Member

    I haven't really thought that I was feeling guiltly and angry :mad: until reading this. I am angry because I am tired of feeling sick all the time, tired of how it makes me feel less of a person when it hits. Cause I can't do anything. And guilty because I put everything on my family. Can't work for 3 weeks. No paycheck... The kids are left to the house, my husband is left with the stress of everything and he just got out of the hospital about 2 weeks ago.Yeah, i go through all the stages i gusess. WOW. The uncertainty of the future. I have had this for many many years and have never had anything like this. This site. Thank you.....
  5. DondiDo

    DondiDo New Member

    Memaw I know how you feel... I told my husband a few months ago I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just changed companies due to a sale and I haven't told the new company of my "condition". I can't afford to lose my job and benefits..
  6. yiraheerai

    yiraheerai Crystal

    I'm probably on the border of stages 6 and 7 with the occasional snapback to 5. The thing is, acceptance can come sooner than the rest. You can accept that you have it and still be angry about it. You can accept that things can't change but don't know how to change yourself to fit around it. That seems to be how it is for me.

    I know I have this, I know its never going to change, and even after nearly 11 years I still can't seem to find a way to express myself correctly around people who don't understand and have to resist the urge to kick or slap people who think there's a simple fix or that it doesn't exist at all. I do my best and that's all anyone can hope for, I guess.
  7. newflady

    newflady New Member

  8. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    Dizzjo: (from part of the first post)

    7. Acceptance, when you finally "get it"; that nothing will ever return to the way it used to be and you need to rethink how you do things and learn to accept help from others and admit your limitations. You can accept the dizzy days, the vertigo, the hearing loss, the inability to function normally, and all else that goes with it.

    8. Hope, when you see a new way of living emerging and you are content with yourself and happy and can move forward but on a different path from the one you were on. You make accommodations and set short goals and realize that they may never bear fruit and you are flexible enough to accept that. You realize that there is still life in you and you just are living it differently. You begin to focus on what you are able to do and not on what you can't/not able to do.

    These are the two I keep going back and forth to. I'm glad I finally get it and how it will never be the same - although I do miss the old me sometimes. I now set those small goals for myself and when I feel myself overwhelmed, I try to get back to acceptance so I can move on to what I am able to do.
    Thanks for the bump
  9. newflady

    newflady New Member

    This really helped me come to terms with the mm diagnosis......glad to bump!!!!
  10. Sheri61

    Sheri61 New Member

    I'm definitely dealing with the Guilt phase. I watched my grandson this past school year (the first ten months of his life). It involved staying over at my daughter's house in a live-in nanny type situation. They were so glad I could do it. All they had to worry about was going to work. But when my symptoms worsened, and my grandson started walking and getting more active, I had to tell them I could no longer do it. They understood, but when I think about NOT taking care of him I feel a massive weight of guilt.

    And now, I can't find a job that I CAN do here at home. More guilt.

    I'm ready for the Acceptance and Hope stages. :-\
  11. imbr

    imbr New Member

    thank you for this.right now I am in the quiet,confused stage heading into the unknown
  12. Lorrie K

    Lorrie K New Member

    Thank you - I have finally reached the hope stage. Life is very different from what it used to be but I now have hope that I can go on.
  13. hollymm

    hollymm Me, 'in' a tree.

    One of the stages I went through, which I admit caused relief, guilt, selfishness and 'I told you so's', (one of the vindictive and hateful sides) was one of validation. I mean everyone thought I was trying to 'get out' of something or 'faking' it for favoritism - or just plain lying to get fawned or petted over it. I could now say, "See? There is something wrong with me. All you people who thought I was just a lying hypochrondriac are wrong...see the proof of it?" I got over this stage quickly because everyone was, in turn, concened and wanting to know just what "Meniere's" disease was how was I "dealing with it". By then I was on to stages outside of their involvement and didn't really want to explain it all as I was trying to deal with the other stages mentioned on this post... I'm kinda angry with myslef because I used those people for proof of my own validation and then, basically ingorned their real concern because I had suffered some what at their disbelief.

    I've known others that go through this same stage because you actually allow people to push you into believing that there's nothing wrong and you ARE being just a hypochondriac - which is depressing to say the least.

    I now accept, with hope that there may, someday be a way to slow it down or stop it altogether. I'm living day to day in the present trying enjoy what I can cuz I don't know how long I'll have between episodes nor how much I will have left to enjoy the same simple pleaures in the now...
  14. imnotdrunk

    imnotdrunk New Member

    Panic. That's where I'm at. No doubt about it. Hope I move out of this stage soon, though guilt sounds quite uncomfortable too....
  15. newflady

    newflady New Member

    Been there. I promise it will get better.
  16. MsScribble

    MsScribble New Member

    I don't feel any of these things. My life was already garbage before this. All i feel is worried that it will now be even harder to get a job - IF i get one.
  17. fizzixgal

    fizzixgal New Member

    I'm somewhere between panic and denial... really want this to be something else, don't know what I'll do if it really turns out do be definite MM. Everything points in that direction. Still holding out hope for PLF... but in terms of probability, that's unlikely. I cannot retire, have expenses I can't avoid that mean I can't go on disability. This can't happen to me and if it does, I will wind up on the streets. Not today, not next year, but sooner or later. It's my worst nightmare.
  18. chill1479

    chill1479 New Member

    Dizzjo ~ Thank you for posting this. It is a reminder for me of all the stages we go through when dealing with something like this. Even though I knew of this process and have been through it before in dealing with other things I know that I forget when I am in the middle of something hard.

    Each day I seem to be accepting things a bit more but still not sure what all I have to learn. Emotionally, I am doing better today. This really helps to be able to look at and see where we are. Also, I know for me it is good to be reminded that we can go through different parts of the process many different times before coming out on the other side.

    God bless and thank you again.
  19. amberini

    amberini New Member

    Each time we go through these stages, we learn. It may take a few times to "get" the lesson and then you can go on to the next lesson. Sometimes the lessons are cleverly disguised and fool us.
    Everything has a lesson, good or bad. We often learn more from t he bad lessons.

    It helps to ask yourself "What am I supposed to learn from _____ this"?
  20. chill1479

    chill1479 New Member

    amberini ~ I agree, everything is for a reason and teaches us something. Sometimes it takes quite a while before we know what we are suppose to learn and I believe there are times that we never know what the lesson was about. Hopefully, we all continue to grow through it all. I think you are right, it is often the hardest times that teach us the most.

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