Spontaneous - Let's See What Comes Out

I loved it. I may have to re-read it as well. I should have said "I cant stop fighting these battles that I have already lost"

 

heavy with thought prompted by a two word phrase a friend has given me. Trust is a remarkable thing.

 

vertigo
world's collide
bile rise
taste of vomit
legs shake
eyes bounce
God...I hate the ringing in my ears...it drives me to insanity
i hate this feeling...i try not to cry...not sure if i can as all fluids are expelled

looking outside watching the world...watching life while i sit ...even a chameleon has more life today than i ... he scurries across the porch with important things to do...even the birds at my feeder have live so vibrant and beautiful....another life I was termed vibrant and beautiful...now and again I catch a glimpse of a woman I use to know...my ground spins and turns...in violence...I am afraid to move as vertigo mounts...again...i hate this disease...it would be so easy to quit but i am not a quitter...i brace myself but how to brace one's self against this monster...i've done medicines, diets, alternative therapy, shunts, shots, a dremmel to my head, and I still have this frickin vertigo...where is the light at my end of the tunnel...i close my eyes afraid to move...faintly i can see a light but from where? this monster will not defeat me...i will never embrace it - it is my enemy...i have to keep searching for the light...I know it's there...

 

blah, but alive

 

I read words on a page
and I imagine that I know
what it is you mean
what you are feeling in that prose

But it's only a glimpse
a tiny speck of your enormous life
interpreted through thought
and mild imagination

Still, I'm one step closer
to that shared experience
the tenuous gift of friendship
of love and care and wonder

You bring me high
then I let loose on the avalanche
of hope and fear and joy
Till next time then - thankyou "friend"

....Terri

 

yes, you do babe, but it won't eat you because it is eating itself.

 

A more diverse group you could not pick
No rhyme or reason why we are sick
One thing we all sadly share
is a disease that is anything but fair.

Some are told they are crazy,
Some even ignored.
When you think it couldn’t be worse
You hear of lost jobs, families and more.

Family gatherings and work cause an incredible din
All the while our patience grows sharp and thin.
The cacophony of noise that a deaf ear can hear
causes even the most seasoned survivor to shed a tear.

A cruel disease, I am sure there are more
We wonder how we will manage while on the floor.
Dealing with this disease that can be so savage,
while illness and isolation have left our mind ravaged.

How deep are the feelings of depression and sadness,
with never ending dark days of illness?
They drive us to the very brink of madness
Our spirits need quiet and stillness and compassion.

I long for the sound of a country cricket
That basks in the summer sun
Instead of screaming cicadas
that rob me of fun.

Or a Mockingbird
cheerfully announcing the day
Instead of the hive of bees
that won’t go away.

I see blue skies, they are coming my way
For all my troubles, it is here I will stay.
With people who know and people who care
I will be with others who can help me bear.

When the crushing darkness of chronic illness falls
Leaving you alone and unable to speak
We understand, you are among friends,
You are not
Fatally unique.

 

You have spoken well for me and likely for thousands who have passed thru this forum over the years. It is all there, "cacaphony", "hive of bees", "mind ravaged", "brink of madness". It almost hurts to read these words, but then come "blue skies", "help me bear", and "among friends". But, close to the top of my all time favorite phrases, way close to the top is "you are not fatally unique". In five words you tell victims that they are not alone, that there is hope and commonality. Those five words make a powerful phrase that will, I expect, prompt many people to make new and healthy choices. I know you worked hard on this and I thank you for investing in your sisters and brothers,
and yourself.

{amberini}

Paul

 

Amberini - so much of my lived experience in your thoughtful and rythmic words ...thanks

 

Friday full of hope
my chance to escape my prison
Friday night hope is gone
alone with my hope for Sat.

 

oh babe!

{charisse}

 

today - whimsical but not

 

.

 

received a needed reprieve from the violence of spins and expulsion of fluids hoping for a continual gentle day of some normalcy of life

 

recharging my brain

 

Frog the neighbor's dog just made me smile.

 

feeling restless need another road trip.

 

With the best of intentions, I burn up my small energy
like a sparkler, POOF, and all that is left is the cold wire.
My feet are freezing, and I think about putting on socks
but then a cat
wraps itself around them
silk chin on my ankle
tail tucked around the arch.
Fireworks are over-rated;
the slow, affectionate fire of life
one greeny gold slit eyeing me
is warmer
than socks made in China.

 

nicely done thornie - great imagery -