Spontaneous - Let's See What Comes Out

I kept waiting until I felt better. Until....after....
But there is no after.
I will not feel better. I will feel like this.
I might as well fly
away
dance
sing
this is it.
No more waiting.

 

I'm trying hard to be spontaneous.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

I am watching:
Juncos feeding
Purple finches eating
Goldfinches gorging
Towhees munching
Two species of sparrows engaging in alimentary pursuits
Mourning doves chowing down


Pls pass the chocolate

 

wobbling about

worrying about a friend

too much to do - where to start

are the peas up yet?

 

Laughing at a friend's story
Bird chewing on my ear begging for attention
Can no longer ignore the body's begging for breakfast
Listening to the radio
Not an unusual morning.

 

Excesses moored to love toward
Unhappy he with thee
But still she toiled
With heart embroiled
Blind in misery

Contempt crept through the shady hue
Reluctantly he stayed
She tried in vein
To win again
The prize she’d always craved

But what this prize with all its lies
Historically endowed?
To seek a life
As tailored wife
Freedom disemboweled

 

"With heart embroiled
Blind in misery"

Bloody hell that conjures up all sorts of things! I shall read it again. This is really fine.

 

My heart is beating so fast
I can't seem to breathe
What is happening
Then his face appears
I feel warm and safe
His eyes tell me not to be affraid
His touch of his hand on mind
My heart is slowing down
His love has touched me to the core
My grand son Aaron...my angel on earth.

 

takes an angel to know an angel.

 

Spring winds are doing their thing. But then so are the flowers.
I just planted a redbud. Why did I wait all these years?

 

Some times long lost battles keep me up at night. Things I should had said, things I should had done. I keep replaying them over and over its like a broken record (ancient recording devise)

I think my brain is trying to keep me awake and I don't know why. As bad as the lost battles are they are a hell of lot better than the horrible worst case scenario stuff, like what if something happened to Hag or pup.

The other day at a diner a very dapper dressed elderly man was sitting two stools down. His hair and mustache were professionally groomed, his tie was perfect.

He kept silently yelling to himself, he was obviously very agitated. He would slam down a hand for emphasis only to stop it before it hit the counter. He would point his coffee cup at an invisible foe and slam it down again only to stop it before it hit the counter.

He was obviously a regular at the diner and harmless as I watched the Wait staff ignoring him.

The lost battle he was rehashing my god it must had been horrible. His face contorted in rage as he silent screamed and thrashed about.

At one point his coffee did indeed spill, a little.

He placed an ancient well groomed hand on my arm and said " I am sorry friend did my coffee splash you" No I replied and he patted my arm, smiled at me and returned to his rant.

Those were the only words he had spoken.

On my way back I noticed a homeless man walking down the street, his appearance indicated that he was indeed a street person.

He was silently screaming and kicking his legs out at an invisible foe, He swung a round house and continued screaming as I drove by.

Was it war, was it a lost lover, or the best friend that stole her. Was it the bastard that ruined their lives or the ungrateful child that broke their hearts.


Is this my future?

I cant stop fighting these lost battles.

 

I really got into your writing Seadog, yes indeed

 

perhaps they are not yet lost, just not quite won. Or maybe they are won and you have not noticed because you think you must continue to fight.
I see a book in all of this.

Charisse has good taste.

 

Seadog, I want your book.

 

xoxox

 

nauseated, thinking muddled, alive, dogs napping, me too...