sayings that are my favourite

if you can't beat'em, join'em

 

.

 

omg rofl that's a good one..
lol

now you made me forget what I was going to say.


brainfog.

 

ugly in the cradle, pretty at the table

 

Never put anything on facebook that you don't want your mama to see

 

Mama, these mushrooms look like boogers!

 

......the forest is so empty that a woodpecker would have to carry his lunch!

 

Gracie Allen telling a neighbor how to tell when her roast was done.

"You take a ten pound roast and a two pound roast and cook them together. When the two pound roast is burned, the ten pound roast is done."

 

if you walk a mile and you don't smile, don't go that way no more

 

Like crap through a goose.

 

when there was only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you!!!

 

Just because the pain ends, doesn't mean the suffering does

 

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

 

,

 

Coach to a defencive player "The shortest distance between you and the ball is a straight line, and arrive with a bad attitude"

 

He has an interesting left eye - the right one keeps looking at it!

 

.

 

cool as the other side of the pillow

 

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention!

 

If brains were gunpowder I couldn't even blow my nose.