Question; could an atheist and a christian be married?

Since this has been a hot topic on two other threads(atheists/non believers ~vs~ believers/christians)I thought that I would pose this question. Because as far as I go I would have to say a definite NO and would have never married my wife if she was an atheist, and if she ever became one we would probably divorce one day unless I felt a really good solution could be reached(and I'm not sure what that would be).

 

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And what do you do if you have kids if your beliefs are split, does one teach that child or children christanity while the other one tries to undo everything they're learning about all of that? That sounds like that child or children would grow up to be pretty confused in my opinion, and it's those types of headaches you would have to think about and consider when choosing a spouse with very different beliefs that can affect everyone.

 

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See that's where there would already be a clash right there because that is YOUR way of bringing up a child, and my way is getting them to know God and stories from the bible buuuut not forcing them to go to church like alot of parents do(because I don't even go to church myself but used to).

 

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Well I believe in planting positive seeds and teaching our kids what we believe so that we're all on the same page, and then later on when they get older and decide to steer away from that then so be it but we will at least lay down what we think is a good foundation for them. And it's not like I am sitting here saying that I am gonna teach them to worship satan and practice being evil and neither are you, beacuse if that was the case then I would be setting that child up for a very hard and troubled life. Plus they will get all their science and stuff like that in school but we prefer that they learn the spiritual & faith related info at home.

 

One thing I really need to mention studio34 is that I have a very STRONG belief in God and appreciate where my faith in him has taken me, but I am not a church goer or bible thumper and came to most or all of my conclusions from personal experiences and gut feelings over let's say the past 20 years(I am 44 now). So I happen to take extreme offense to anyone that tries to scoff, roll their eyes, or shoot down what my faith and what God means to me based on all that I have been through in my life & was able to overcome. So that is one big reason I try and never have these conversations in person with a non-believer, because it will always end badly and the best thing to do with me if you're ever face to face is "agree to disagree" and then politely.......move on.

 

Would you teach them that there is a place called hell and that if they did not follow the word of God, they would end up there? Would you say to them that if they didn't live their life in a particular way, that Jesus wouldn't invite them up into the clouds on some future judgement day?

What would you say to your child about the Bible condoning being stoned to death for not observing the Sabbath?

 

>>> I happen to take extreme offense to anyone that tries to scoff, roll their eyes, or shoot down what my faith.

I started out sort of like you many years ago but came to the conclusion that it is not so. So my next question to you is why do you take extreme offense when we discuss whether or not there is a God? I am not criticising you personally; we are having a rational discussion about such things as the beginning of the universe, whether or not an atheist can marry a Christian etc. I never quite get this personal offence that believers always have when such discussions arise. It's disappointing. You can tell me until your blue in the face that my point of view is crazy and I will happily hear you out but I will never be persoanlly offended. Why? Makes no sense.

 

I would simply teach them the absolute difference between good and evil, and that there are consequences for both here on earth and when it's their time to die. And that God will both reward and punish us much like the law does and we as parents do for their actions, but the difference will be that once we die the punishments and the rewards then all become - permanent.

 

But I say "why" try and change what each other thinks or believes at this point, because it's not like we're two teenage kids trying to find our way through life and figure things out. Speaking for myself I have already given everything a fair shot over the past 25-30 years and reached my final conclusions about it all that I'm gonna hang my hat on and ride out, so if that is also the case with you then we would both just be wasting oxygen and time continuing to discuss it all(kind of like what we're doing now).

~Good Night Scott~

 

To me that sounds like some very scary stuff you're deciding to lay on some child who barely knows what's going on. He or she is already being taught fear – fear in a god that he or she has not yet decided even exists and serious consequences that are permanent for screwing up but will no doubt take your word for it because you are his/ her father. I really think that's not on.

And I'm not trying to be difficult here but what is the absolute difference between good and evil? How do you even define that? Let me take an extreme example to illustrate this: Bin Laden orchestrates 9-11 and from George Bush's point of view and Americans, he is evil. On the other hand, America has had troops in a number of Muslim countries, there have been unfortunate civilian deaths at their hands and they decided to invade Iraq, a war which has cost tens of thousands of Muslim lives. From Bin Laden's point of view and a number of Iraqies, Bush and the west is evil. Both are very tragic events yet it depends on the perspective as to what is evil in this example. Ironically, their differences are rooted in religion.

I don't feel this is a waste of oxygen because I always find the believer's mind and rationale fascinating. If you do find it a waste of time though, we can leave it. I'm not trying to change you Chris; that is not going to happen in a few threads on a forum anyway ... just interesting hearing your view and rationale.

Have a good sleep! S

 

Regarding whether that is a correct statement emboldened above, I will point out that the Holocaust was rooted in a pure hatred of religion, and a certain religion, by those who decried religion. That being the case, are all of these differences about which you speak truly rooted in religion, or perhaps most fundamentally rooted in common human failings? I expect the latter is more fundamental and that religion is merely the dimension that those who participate in some of these events demonstrate those failings and choose to blame those failings.

 

Regarding the OP's question, could an atheist and a christian be married? Answer yes, they can be married. However, over time one of three will occur:

1. They will have a failed marriage
2. The Christian will become and atheist
3. The Atheist will become a Christian

A house divided cannot stand. It will become all of one, or all of the other, or will fall.

I am reminded of Lincoln's great speech on this topic:

"'A house divided against itself cannot stand.' I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved -- I do not expect the house to fall -- but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing, or all the other. Either the opponents of slavery will arrest the further spread of it, and place it where the public mind shall rest in the belief that it is in the course of ultimate extinction; or its advocates will push it forward, till it shall become alike lawful in all the States, old as well as new -- North as well as South."

What Lincoln said is exactly what happened.

A common household is nothing but a microcosm of the house to which Lincoln referred. An individual torn between two mutually exclusive alternatives of life can also be a microcosm of the same sort of house. In all of these examples, however, the principles are the same. Scott, perhaps someday you will understand that once married to an individual, as much love as there might be between the two, the house is in fact divided. Marriage is just the beginning of the relationship, the beginning of building the house. If over time, the members of the marriage do not leave their uncommon traits to the background, and work toward accentuating and even becoming a person more like the person he or she married, each choosing those most desireable and respectable traits of the other to take on, the house will remain divided and will fall. The house will become one or remain two and fall. Successful marriages are those in which both parties see the best traits in each other and spend their lifetimes trying to take on those traits themselves. Doing so ensures that the house becomes undivided.

So in this case, if Lincoln, and in fact Matthew, are correct, either your sister-in-law will prevail, and your brother will eventually become more like her, or the opposite will occur. If that does not happen, unfortunately, the house will fall. Perhaps that does not mean divorce but it does mean a failed marriage. This happens more times than not these days. And this is one reason why, not just religious differences, but each party going his or her own way. So what I say is not outlandish to consider whomever we may be talking about. But if they do stay together, I expect that in 15-20 years you will visit one day and notice that your brother is attending services his wife has determined are most appropriate for their family.

 

However, over time one of three will occur:

1. They will have a failed marriage
2. The Christian will become and atheist
3. The Atheist will become a Christian

A house divided cannot stand. It will become all of one, or all of the other, or will fall.

You missed number 4. They will have a happy marriage and neither will abandon their Christianity or Atheism.

My brother and his wife have now been happily married for 20 years. It works fine Hank.

 

>>> I will point out that the Holocaust was rooted in a pure hatred of religion

If you check the history on this you'll find it was not the Jewish faith that Hitler had a problem with but it was for a whole host of other reasons, namely blaming them for Germany's loss in WW1.

>>> That being the case, are all of these differences about which you speak truly rooted in religion, or perhaps most fundamentally rooted in common human failings?

I hear what you're saying here but I would argue that the failings in humans is the creation of religion itself. And that seems to happen because our brains are wired for it. I think it's a genetic thing that served a purpose in the past but now finds itself failing dramatically in the 21st century. Religion is old hat and has had its day. I think humanity needs something new that takes in the real world and universe as it is defined by science and allows people to reconnect with nature.

S

 

It was the entire race of Jews Hitler had a problem with, inclusive if the culture, and most inclusive of the religion. Otherwise, he would have taken steps to wipe out the Arabs, whom he sided with and who sided with him, and never found allies in the Japanese, again, another race. Your other comment about religion being old hat I can only attribute to whatever group of friends you hang out with. Because it has nothing to do with this world.

 

Two quick thoughts about the last 5 posts:

- As far as "forcing" anything onto my child I would much rather raise & teach the child my own morals and ideas, than to just let the world raise and teach him or her at a young age or let them fend for themselves while we just sit back and watch(not gonna happen in my house thank God).

- If you and your spouse are not on the same page with the important life changing things, then you'll end up doing alot of things independently and thinking seperately which to me = little or no union(which defeats the whole purpose of marriage). Like for instance if your spouse is in a satanic cult and you're not then it's not gonna work, or if your husband is in the KKK and the wife has black and hispanic friends then of course - that's not gonna work. So yeah Scott your friends might be making it work for them, but I haven't come across too many sucessfully and happily married couples that are that divided on something so important(and please don't come back with "it's not that important" because there are verbal & physical wars being fought all over the world over stuff like this).

 

Yes, most definetly they could be married. But, I myself have dated an atheist, and it did not work. Of course you should raise children in your religion--it gets passed down like last names--you inherit it.

There is no reason to make everything bigger than it truly is. God is about love, hope, faith. Atheist--I don't know?? Have never been one. What is so wrong with raising a child based on Christian values?