My thoughts on depression

Discussion in 'Your Writer's Den' started by Artlover, Jun 4, 2011.

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  1. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    Depression is like carrying around a black balloon connected to a black chain that follows you around from room to room. You wake up and there it is waiting to ruin your day. Here I am! You can't get rid of me that easily! You take a shower and think, there, washed it off, but it is holding the towel when you get out. On and on it goes. Some moments you get a release from it and you think, oh good, that wasn't so bad. Then it peeks in through the door, you didn't forget me did ya? God can't take it away, prayers can't take it away, wishing can't take it away. It is a denial like any other until one day, you say, there it is, I accept you, you are real, you won't leave me, so I am going to deal with you. I am going to put you in a box and not let you get out ever again. Medication really does work. I am living proof. My ears still ring but I don't think about it anymore. I can't believe how my life has changed. Good bye, black balloon. Good bye, black chain.
     
  2. Sholly

    Sholly New Member

    Wow, very profound...
     
  3. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

  4. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

  5. Aladdin-Fae

    Aladdin-Fae New Member

  6. Rhemajoy

    Rhemajoy New Member

    Good writing. I've never thought of depression being outside of me. When I've been depressed it's always felt like something inside of me just draining my brain, thoughts, feelings. A dark, black thing that takes all your energy, all your hope and leaves you either feeling like a large piece of lead, or completely hollow inside. Like all my energy and vitality has been sucked out of me. And when I've been overcome with it in the past, noone has seemed to understand that I can't just go about life as normal. Really intense and confrontational arguments will often leave me feeling this way. I've never taken meds though.

    It was interesting to read how you describe what you go through. And I am sorry yyou've had to deal with it.
     
  7. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    good description and you know and very very helpful to me at the moment :) that black balloon has been bain of my life for the last 3 months, i'm not finding the med helpful tho but it is the lowest dose because it interferes with my other pills, but i need to accept that only i can pop this balloon and break that chain so thankyou :) needed to read that today xx
     
  8. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    Thanks, all. I am glad I can hopefully be helpful. It just plagued me for so long and people always said to me, cheer up!, snap out of it! And so I felt it was my fault and kept trying to fix it myself. I really had to hit rock bottom before I could see that it really wasn't me. It took me many, many years. There is so much stigma around depression. So I think we get ashamed and don't want to ask for help. Also, it took a couple tries before I got the medication right. I really had to throw in the towel. I feel even every day and I am so grateful. Btw, I don't drink anymore and that helps too.
     
  9. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    btw, I just want to add, it is not that my life is perfect now, it is just that I can deal with things, and I am not so sensitve to life's ups and downs. I can get through it without having to drag myself through the mud. I also had to realize that it was a chemical imbalance, and that there are people in the world who really have their chemicals balanced so they don't understand. And so they think that you should be able to pop out of it like them. It is like a person who has their legs yelling at someone who is in a wheelchair to get up and start walking!
     
  10. Aliza

    Aliza I'm still standing, alone but upright

    Very nice!
     
  11. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

  12. goofygirl

    goofygirl WDE!!!

    Excellent description! And very tough to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it. The "snap out of it" response from a loved one who doesn't understand can really hurt. And the question "What is so bad in your life?" If they've never experienced true depression, most don't realize it has nothing to do with whether your day, or week,or month has been bad, or good.

    A combination of anti-depressants and hormones stabilized me. And you are so right...it doesn't go away on its on!!
     
  13. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    Amen, Goofy Girl! :)
     
  14. Aladdin-Fae

    Aladdin-Fae New Member

  15. Gina05

    Gina05 Guest

    In my mind, I released a Black Baloon today.

    It was filled with; what ifs, annoyance, anger, hurt, mis-communication, fear, and worry.
     
  16. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    woo hoo, that's great, Gina! :)
     
  17. Gina05

    Gina05 Guest

  18. Gina05

    Gina05 Guest

    Where are you, and how are you, missing you here. :)
     
  19. Artlover

    Artlover it's a crazy world.

    I'm here, Gina. How are you? I am so glad not to be depressed anymore. Every day is like Xmas to me. My Dad is pretty sick but he is in good hands. xo, Sally
     
  20. Gina05

    Gina05 Guest

    Sally, I'm glad he's in good hands.

    He's in yOur Hands, and he's in Gods hands. :)
     

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