Meltdown City

Sorry gang, I need a few shoulders tonight. It’s been one of those days that started out bad and just spiraled down from there. Without going into the wretched details, I can honestly tell you that I’m angry, sick and tired of being sick and tired, and frustrated with this Non life that I seem to be living right now. I’ve hit rock bottom today with the pity party thing. The tears are flowing between the shockingly overwhelming waves of pure unbridled anger. I’ve been a good and loving person my entire life. I’ve devoted most of my 48 years to taking care of things for everyone around me. Now I am at the other end of that spectrum and I’m not handling this well at all. I believe with all of my heart that God will not allow more that a person can handle, but folks I have to tell you that I’m close to a meltdown. No one deserves this. I’m just plain MAD, in every sense of that word. Quick, give me some words of wisdom. This path is a destructive one and I don’t wish to continue on it. I just can’t seem to pull myself up and get onto the right track this time. Thanks for listening.
SherryC

 

Sherry,

I felt exactly the same way a week or so ago; had I posted that day it would have been nearly word for word the same. The only thing I can find to help is to find one tiny thing that gives you hope...maybe the tinnitus is quieter than yesterday or the vertigo spell wasn't as bad as one two weeks ago or whatever...any glimmer and cling to it as a sign that it doesn't always have to be this bad. It will get better, maybe tomorrow or a few days down the road, you WILL feel better mentally about it. I never think I will when I get into that dark place, but I do come back out of it and you will too.

People also tell me God won't give me more than I can handle, and I think...maybe he confused me with someone else because this seems like it's beyond me! But...I'm still here the next day and the next and the next....and some days are not as bad as others....cling to that...and when you get that glimmer of hope...run with it!

Hang in there...I know it's hard.

 

Excellent advice. We've all been there. Thoughts and prayers you feel better tomorrow.

 

Just knowing that no matter how bad it gets (and I think we all agree it can and does get BAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!) that God knows, understands and is with me helps me through it. There are days when no one else understands. I don't know why this had to "hit" us--but there is a reason. I'm still trying to find it. I'm sure you are like everyone else in the fact that you'd love to clobber a few people who, "know just how you feel. I had a dizzy spell 45 years ago for a day and it was awful." Ok, so I'm a bit sarcastic--but not much. But God DOES care about us and love us and He understands how we feel. He has promised never to leave us or forsake us.

Willie Marie

 

Sherry,

It can be very difficult to drag yourself out of the hole you've found yourself in. Maybe what you need is a good old fashioned crying jag. Crying can help to release emotions you don't know how to express. I sure hope things look better in the morning for you.

Hugs, Tracy

 

Sherry,

You are already following the advice I give myself: by posting here,you are no longer alone with it. For a long time it did not get better for me, but there were days when emotionally, I was better. And usually it happened after I stopped trying to hold it together.

I read in a thread by Dizzjo on the Front Porch under Quotes:
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."
-Mother Teresa

I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you,
Kathleen

 

Sherry,
Hang in there. It will get better. Yesterday I had my first vertigo attack in over 3 weeks. I was sitting at the table having lunch when it hit. All I could do was get up and go to bed. Today I feel better.
Know that you are in my prayers.
Leon

 

Sherry, I am sorry tht you are suffering so deeply, but I think it is awesome tht you are so angry about it. Anger has been one of my tools when the vertigo attacks knock me down. The angrier I get the less this stupid disease has a chance of winning. Maybe you being angry is just right. I wish for you comfort and peace.
Paul

 

.

 

Sherry, You're in my prayers. Please stay connected to the people who care for you.....here and at home. They will help carry your load. Know that you are precious and loved.

Kim

 

Hang in there Sherry. I know it sounds cliche, but take one day at a time and take them with baby steps - things will improve.

 

Sherry,

I've been there many times and it scared me each time,felt like I was out of control. Anger can be good but it can turn inward if we stay in it long enough and cause depression. I just tried not to let myself go there to often, counseling helped me alot and gave me a different way to deal. We all understand where your coming from. If you find your getting stuck, go see someone who can help you through it, I did and it helped alot ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))

 

((((HUGS))))

:-* :-* :-* :-*

 

Hang in there Sherry, I dare say there's not one of us inhere that haven't been where you are right now so you've come to the right place for understanding. What gets me through is a saying that I heard once,-- "if God brings you to it, God will see you through it". I know the hole is dark and deep and a horible place to be, having people that understand will help you through it. Stay with us- you have a lot of friends rooting for you on here. Hugs-- Loretta

 

Hi Sherry -

How are you doing today? I hope you're better. There are many things I've read on this forum that have had an impact on me. Here's two of them:

Let go and let God.

Begin Again

I hope you find some measure of comfort in these words. You deserve to feel good and I hope it comes your way soon!

 

Sherry, there was a thread on the Front Porch. It's titled Frumpalicious and was geared toward Fresh Faith from Officer Billy Bob. However, it can apply to anyone who is down. Read it and feel better.

 

Sherry, there was a thread on the Front Porch. It's titled Frumpalicious and was geared toward Fresh Faith from Officer Billy Bob. However, it can apply to anyone who is down. Read it and feel better.

 

I wish I had more words of wisdom too, but the bottom line is that MM S__cks. And worse. My mom has a dear friend of 66 who 2 weeks ago had a severe stroke, and won't wake up, topped off by terminal pancreatic cancer that gives her 2 months to live. It is sad that the comparison to things like this make me feel better about menieres, that it takes something of this gravity to put it into perspective. There are SO many things that I want to do that I can't. But I can get up in the morning and do most things, just much more slowly and carefully. And at least with menieres there are days of complete normalcy, for me, and I know I am lucky for that. Maybe this hasn't helped! Thanks for listening to me too. This board is so nice, it is so nice having people that can relate. I hope today is a better day for you, and the upside is that meniere's with it's changeable nature always has the hope of a better day.....hugs, Lisa

 

sherry-i am so glad you reached out and wrote to us - tears are in my eyes but yet a smile on my face as I read your words - it's sad to see you appear to be broken but darling you can not be broken because so many on this forum are here to put you back together - sigh - hugs & prayers

 

When I wrote this post I was in such a dark and dreary place that I was afraid that I’d never be able to pull out again. I ran to the one place that I knew I’d find not only understanding but hope. I found more. Thanks to all of you who wrote to offer me a kind word, a hug, or encouragement. Thanks for telling me it’s OK to be upset, and even healthy to be angry. It’s been a week of pure frustration and quite frankly I’m still worried about the doctor’s appointment tomorrow. But the good news is that I can see some silver floating up there somewhere. I’m stretching up to try and grab hold of it. I’ll let you know what the Neuro has to say tomorrow.
Hugs and thanks a million!
SherryC