I remember when I felt "normal"....

Discussion in 'Your Living Room' started by dizzy_banker, Oct 7, 2006.

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  1. dizzy_banker

    dizzy_banker one a good day at the office...

    Hey there folks....It's me again, whining about being dizzy every day. Will it ever stop? I feel that nothing is working and I can't get this bobble head feeling I have in my head from stoping every day. My neck and shoulders are very tight, maybe just the stress from this. Yesterday I drove about a 1/2 hr to visit my office staff who I had not seen for about 2 months since I became ill with this. I thought I looked healthy, even good. I guess we can't fool people with this. The office manager sat me down and said, Karen, you are walking around like you just got in a car accident. I guess I walk now, very stiff trying not to move my head around since it makes me more dizzy, and my eyes....they just are not the same. All my life, everyone alway commented about my big olive green eyes, how they sparkle and are so expressive. My eyes look different now, even to me..and it doesnt matter how much sleep I get or how much makeup I try to pile on...it's just like I lost the sparkle...and I want it back.
    I also find I am just not the happy go lucky person I usually am, or used to be. I am grouchy, I snap at people who love me, and am in my own weird world right now. Do any of you ever feel like your "old" self again, after having this for a long time? Like can I look forward to some good days, because I can deal with it, if there are some good days and I sparkle and shine. Because those days will mke me feel like there is hope.
    Karen- aka Dizzy Banker
     
  2. michele

    michele New Member

    I sure would like to know the same thing!! I was recently dx and am waiting to get into see a specialist (my ENT didn't want to mess with me I guess). My hubby says I growl at him for nothing, I'm grouchy with the kids, and like you my neck, shoulder and back muscles are sore from trying to motivate without moving my head (not that it helps!). Just as bad as the dizzies is the horrible ringing in my ears (can't spell tintinn-whaterver). It's almost impossible to get to sleep because it's never quiet! I know I'm whining, but hey, guess that's what this board is for, to vent some, huh?
     
  3. dmac

    dmac my sweet Holly

    ;D You both sound like me a few months ago. I was scuffling around with a cane like an old man, bent over and shuffling my feet.
    This stuff can go into remission, it did for me. Stay on your diuretic and low sodium, try some grape seed extract and bioflavonoids and you can maybe suppress it.
    This past week saw my symptoms return, I think because of the weather change and allergies, so things like that can have an affect. I was just diagnosed last June so I have a lot to learn yet myself.

    Dave.
     
  4. cdedie

    cdedie Designed by DizzyNBlue

    Karen I can feel your pain girl! It is so hard to accept that we are different than we were and can't do the things we use to. I hope that things get better for you soon. :)
     
  5. pardonme

    pardonme Guest

  6. Robyn

    Robyn Russell the Wombat

    Take the bad days as they come, but enjoy the good ones with all you have. :)
     
  7. minnesotadizzy

    minnesotadizzy New Member

    Karen,

    You are going to feel like that most of the time. The neck and shoulder is probably a lot of stress on you. I feel the same way from time to time. Relax with a hot bath and a nice glass of wine.

    You will have good days! They maybe a full day or just part of a day; but when you have them, then that is when I do the old things again. And YES with a sparkle in my eyes and a smile. When you have a good day be active... it might make you dizzy again, but hey you did that thing you have missed for so long!

    I have dizziness all the time since April now with the attacks and just experienced my first "drop attack". You will get crabby, snappy at others... we all do. Just have to tell the ones close to you that you are sorry from time to time. There will be those good days too... even if they are moments; you'll come to enjoy them. I am going on a plane ride to Ohio in a few weeks to see my granddaughter who will be 1 on Oct. 31st. I probably should not go, but I am!!! Be strong..... it will be hard, but if you can be a banker like you have been.... I know you can do this!

    Good Luck.... Dave aka Minnesotadizzy
     
  8. Wobbles

    Wobbles Storm (April 15, 1992 - November 17, 2006)

    Following up on pardonme’s comments, I developed a sore neck when I began to use my eyes as my third leg when I walked about. I was keeping my head in a somewhat unnatural position and thereby causing muscle strain.

    Without a doubt, dealing with MM means that we have to deal with our whole bodies. We need to Think well, Relax well, Eat well, and Exercise well. It’s our TREE of life.

    Joe
     
  9. Amethyst

    Amethyst She believed she could, so she did.

    Ask my hubby and he'd say yup, I'm still grouchy all the time these days. On the most part though, I'm starting to feel more like myself again - after 4 months off work, tons of rest and very rewarding rehab (VRT). I tried to keep working after the sudden onset of symptoms - I too kept being told I didn't look myself. My colleagues witnessed my staggered, drunken walk. At times I was even walking into walls around the office. My eyes lost their sparkle too - but then again, with how I was feeling it was no wonder.

    I think you can feel confident that there will be good days in your future. It's a tough time right now and you need to take care of yourself first. Things will get better.

    Amethyst
     
  10. SMC

    SMC Look for the footprints in the sand......

    Karen,
    It is discouraging and more than a little frustrating. You will have days that you can enjoy and you will have days that you just want to scream why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today begins my 12th week off work. I can't see myself going back unless by a miracle I awake and am somewhat normal again. I remember those days too. Why do we as humans take life so for granted? Hang in there and feel free to vent as often as you need. We understand and we care about what you are going through.
    hugs
    SherryC
     
  11. HeadNoise

    HeadNoise Invisible Me

    Karen, it just majorly sucks when we are so independent, productive, gifted and talented in many important ways and then BAM! all that is gone. I was off work 3 months just getting back on my feet. But now I am working again (a different job) having re-invented my definition of normal and my self expectations.

    Hey woman, get a massage, take a bubble bath, stop being so hard on yourself. Life may never be the same, but it is not over. You may find that slowing down gives you new compassion, empathy and character that you never had before in the fast lane.

    Hang in there! Don't give up, don't give up, don't EVER give up! (HUGS)
     
  12. jparenteau59

    jparenteau59 New Member

    I feel so bad for you, because I have been where you are so many times. It is such a scary place to be, and seems never ending. It comes in waves and being nervous just makes it worse. I would have so many degrees of dizzyness all day every day. I owned my own business and had to go in every day. Just my sister and I. Thank God there were counters to hold on to, and walls to lean against. My neck and shoulders were so bad I had to lie down the pain hurt too much. My world was lonely, and I could tell no one. My sister thought I was doing it to myself, so I could just stop. Snap out of it. I really tried when she said that not to let her know how I was suffering. I wish I had this message board at that lonely time to let me know I'm not crazy. To give me the support my family didn't know how to give me. Here, you will never be alone. Post as often as you want to, and no one will tell you to stop, enough is enough. My husband always told me " I can't feel it, I don't know how you feel". I was alone!!!
    There is always hope, hope of not feeling as bad the next day, hour, minute. Take it as it comes. One good thing about this is we learn how strong we are, and we are out best cheerleaders. Take whatever you are given that feels a little better as a plus. Do some relaxation for those shoulders. Pull them up to the ears, hold, and let them drop. Don't forget to breath. You might think I'm nuts, but it helps. I did them as often as I could, don't get caught! What I am telling you is, I know, I feel, I hope, and I give you some things I do to feel better. Hope it helps. Jeanne
     
  13. 2DAMNDIZZY

    2DAMNDIZZY New Member

    We have all been there. Hope good days come to you soon.

    Maggie
     
  14. Goomeri Spinner

    Goomeri Spinner New Member

    ditto ditto

    Karen I have quite a few long, long periods of remission when that sparkle in one's eyes returned and life was great so {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to make you feel a bit better for now

    Maggie (another one :D)
     
  15. LAnn33

    LAnn33 New Member

    i've had mm for 6 yrs now. maybe nothing compared to some, but i feel i got to know myself with this disease. before, i was a bit lost. or at least i felt i had lost myself. i had no idea what was important.

    slowly you will regain yourself, or perhaps meet yourself for the first time, but maybe not in the way you are thinking or wanting. however, this is good! i met myself for the first time during one of my mm attacks. i found myself in the lowest place, depressed, sick in bed for days/weeks, attack after attack, it broke me down.....but, one day i found myself praying the words "thank you". i had no idea what those words meant at the time, but i do now. i had to surrender my control to my God, and i did. from that point forward, He has always been there for me when i have an attack, which have been few and far between in the past 3 years.

    also, no matter how much i use to tell myself i wasn't strong enough, i know at the end of the day, i am stronger than most. no matter how much i use to tell myself i wasn't good enough, i know now that i do deserve pleasure, maybe more so than others! in a way, mm helped build my confidence in myself. each attack i conquered, my confidence was built.... i started viewing the disease in a new way. i was conquering the disease and not the other way around. yes, i had bad days, really bad days, days i wanted to die, but in the end- once i had my mm under control (years after the dx), i learned to accept the bad days. my new motto became "tomorrow is new day." i looked forward to each new day, in hoped i would feel better. sometimes i went weeks with no new days......not feeling better.....becoming desperate for relief, but then i would get a glimpse.....and i built on that feeling.

    you need to learn to talk positive to yourself, this is my point. i have been using meditation and positive thinking, talking, etc.....for years with mm. i have talked myself out of attacks. i believe we are also allowed to ask for healing. ask and you shall receive, sometimes?? lol!

    first step is to surrender yourself to your God, then you can take back what is really yours to build on. strength, confidence, etc....... i hope this all makes sense!

    --leigh ann
     
  16. old timer

    old timer Guest

    To me, normal is a setting on my washing machine!
     
  17. Linda1002

    Linda1002 New Member

    We have to redefine "normal."
     
  18. jabber

    jabber New Member

    Redefining "normal" hits the nail right on the head, unless you happen to be lucky enough to hit an extended remission and we all look for those to happen. Enjoy your good days, and you just have to deal with the bad ones the best you can. MM has made the past 5 days a living hell for me but hey, tomorrow's another day and I just might have a good one. Gotta keep hoping, have a lot of faith in the man upstairs and rely on his angels here to help you get through the rough parts they really do one terrific job of pulling you back up when you're down. Hugs--Loretta
     
  19. Tai chi

    Tai chi New Member

    I would love to feel the "old self" again. I know how you feel.

    Barbara
     
  20. charisse

    charisse Been hanging here for 8 years

    Karen,

    Oh those ups and downs, I try not to make it worse on myself, was bad about doing that for to long.
     

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