How Are You Feeling Today?

You may have misunderstood my reply. If you are enjoying your friendship with Ingrid then yeah, suggestions from anyone are fine, but in the end you call the shots.

The only two people in the picture are you and Ingrid. When you start adding her children, your daughter, the ex-husband, etc. it's not the same picture anymore.

Focus on what makes you happy, excited, eager to face the day, energized, alive.

I rarely ask people for advice because most people give advice based on their experience, not on what is best for me. I don't need other people's insecurities, concerns, emotional history, mental health problems to cloud what's best for me, even if it is a family member I love.

I think most of us already know what is best for us. We need to block out the noise and tap into that resource more often.

I make an exception in the case of people who have personality disorders or crippling mental health issues. They may not be the best and most objective judges of a situation. In that case, advice and help is not just necessary, it's mandatory.

 

I'm feeling much better. I'm finding that getting up early and getting things done then taking a nap is really helping me these days.

David, you're a grown man, you didn't get this far by messing up. If your daughters opinions are based on love and concern for you, and you agree, then do what you must.
Whatever you choose to do, you know you'll get support from me.
Good luck and let me know how the gym went.

 

I know my daughter better than anybody and I know she wants what's best for me.She's the kind of person I can bounce ideas off of and get an answer I may have never thought about.

 

Don't knock it till you try it.

 

I think I just blushed.

 

I know I did!

 

I love you!

 

I'm feeling like I need a cigarette break while hubs and the kids are outside. They just started the fire pit.
Tomorrow hubs goes back to work.
I'm gonna miss him, a good husband is irreplaceable. True love lasts forever.
See ya all later, have fun!

I'm feeling much better,,they just called me....bye!

 

"I tend to have that affect on people." Lighting McQueen. (Kidding, just kidding!)

 

Goodnight everyone!

 

Drained from reading page after page of whining, name calling, finger pointing, blaming, bad mouthing, insulting, selfishness, fighting to have the last word, negativity, drama, excuses, self importance and some downright nasty posts. What a great way to start an already bad, wonky day.

I guess this is what passes as a support forum these days. And people want to know why I don't come here much anymore......I would think it's pretty obvious.

 

:-*

 

It is draining, lulu. That's why after last night, I made a pact with myself to stop reading it.

I took a break from here for awhile. Then I realized there are so many good, funny, nurturing, caring up lifting people here. It would be a shame to abandon it to the insanity, in my opinion.

We all have to do what we have to do, but I think I am going to choose to step around the crap and find the good stuff.

Hopefully if we don't feed the nonsense, but create and/or contribute to the positive, this site can be the place where people will come for comeraderie.

It's worth a try, yes?

 

:-* Lulu. I keep checking in just to see if things can change. It's pretty apparent that they can't. And I'm tired of saying "the forum USED to..." & "YEARS AGO members could say (fill in the blank) without being attacked..." & "...if you don't agree just ignore them..."

 

JF,
Do you think things could change if the majority of folks focused on making a change?

It can't change if everybody bails.

 

But 'change' has been tried over & over & over. I think the forum has simply evolved & will not go back to the way it was in the beginning ... maybe because the people aren't the same as they were in the beginning. The change we want would involve turning back time - to when we were just getting to know each other & were, therefore, maybe a little bit more tolerant, a little more patient, a little more curious about the person posting.

Now, for example when Gina posts, it's an automatic "Oh My Gosh She's posting AGAIN?!" When I post it's a Jesus sermon, etc., etc. We've decided we know what people are going to say before they even say it. (And sadly there are more insults & condemnations being posted than instructions or treatments.)

We don't consider most of these members (the ones we've never met in person at least) as real live people. For most of us, Gina's just a name on the computer. She's not a person with a very mysterious (to most people) disease. She's not depressed or alone & in need of maybe just 'contact' with other humans who might actually understand what she's going through. She's not suffering at all. She's just some annoying person who posts too much (in the opinion of others). That's all some people let themselves know about Gina.

Understand, I'm 'picking on' Gina just because she seems to be the target of the month (or last few months anyway). I could give examples of different people - HenrySullivan for instance. I can almost audibly hear the "Oh Brother!" Hank talked about NUCCA/chiropractic a lot & he talked in long posts because it was a very complicated subject & because he wanted to express a lot about it & share his 'treatment'. That's what the forum is for, right? But whenEVER Hank posted, Nassman would jump in with attacks. Don't get me wrong; I kinda liked Nass - you knew what you were getting with him & he could be entertaining & informative - but sometimes he was a bit ... well, he crossed the line because he seemed to only see the annoyance factor with Hank. He didn't see the good stuff Hank had to offer or didn't seem to understand that Hank was an actual human with feelings & experiences that just might help some people. (I met Hank in person last year & he is such an incredibly terrific, caring, genuine, generous guy.)

There was a time when I felt like a target ... mostly because of my Christianity. More than once I got the "If you're such a JESUS Freak, then why don't you..." Blah blah blah. Of course it would make me angry in the beginning, then I'd spout off. I fell for the bait, let the anonymous post-er rile me up. Finally I started stepping back & finding other interests. All I have to do to solve the problem of an annoying person trying to tick me off on this (or any) forum is ... ... stop reading their posts & realize they are just words on a keyboard. They can't hurt me. They can't ruin my day anymore. Problem solved.

So, FadedRose, in an embarrassingly long-winded response, I appreciate the idea that we could fix .org if enough people tried to make it better - you're not the first to suggest that - I just ... well ... don't ... care enough anymore to want to try all that hard. Sad, but honest truth.

Hope you are getting through whatever struggles you have to endure & are able to enjoy life where ever you are.

 

spot on

 

sad but true

 

I'm sure it can't go back to the way it was in the beginning.

I think it could be better than it is now and that we could make it a really great safe place to come.

I have also been a target. I am a real person with real feelings, as is everyone who posts here. How we react to the negativity makes all the difference. You're right, they are really just words on a screen.

Thanks for your explanation. I understand that you don't care any more. That's too bad, but I wonder if you care a little bit because you do check in once in a while.

Best to you, JF.