Good Grief Charlie Brown

Been a week or two since I have posted anything for Sunday Morning so here is one for ya. I hope everyone enjoys the read, especially those folks who do not get the chance to go to a church service on Sunday.

Also did not mean to miss lead anyone with the title. I just love Peanuts cartoons, dating myself just a little bit, and that was just a perfect lead in for today’s post.

Want to start out by asking how many of us have ever felt grief or sorrow? You have experienced something that just broke your heart. I would think that we all have experience that in some shape form or fashion.

What I would like to do is give you 2 different views on the grieving process and how we should do it.
The Worlds view of Grief Management
1) Bury your feelings – I believe this is especially true of all the guys out there. Guys how many times have you been told in your life to suck it up, be a man. For the guys to show emotion is to show weakness.
2) Replace the loss – How many times have we heard when you lose something, Just get another one to replace it. When my rottie died, people asked me all the time was I going to get another rottie. When you lose anything, just get another one.
3) Grieve alone -
4) Time heals all sorrow

Gods Grief management system
1) Feel and express your feelings – John 11:30-36. Is this not what this forum is all about, especially this part of the forum? I know that it has a tendency to get way off track some time and we may lose the idea of what this page started out being.
I do not think that should be any such thing as a pity party on this page. If you are struggling with something, grieving over something share it, express yourself. I believe that society or the world has a tendency to tell us to bury or hide our feelings, especially for the men.
Is this not the root of the idea of a “pity party”. How many times have we all seen this word on this page? I am struggling with something, crying my eyes out, but I feel like I am in a pity party, I need to suck it up.
This is not what the Bible tells us, it tells us that Jesus wept. He felt grief and expressed it. Part of this page is Helping each other get through this thing we call Meniere’s Disease. I am more than happy to help anyone that I can. PM me if you are not comfortable with posting something. I may not have an answer but I will listen to you and help in any way that I can. If you are struggling with something, stress and grief we all know is not good when dealing with the beast, so express yourself; tell us what you are feeling. From what I have seen you will get nothing but support from the folks on this page.
2) Review the loss – Psalm 13:1-2 the point of all of this is don't try to quickly replace a loss, but review it ... in other words, go over it. The world around us tells us to replace the loss as soon as possible. Turn the page. Fix it quick. Move on. Don't hang out in sad places because it'll ruin your karma. I believe that the U.S. is a quick fix society anyway, we want it and we want it now, and grief or sorrow is just another thing that falls into that category.
Scripture teaches exactly the opposite. Scripture indicates that we need to hang out in the sad place long enough to allow the full effect of the loss to settle into our souls. I cannot stress enough that it does not mean we need to spend the rest of our life wallowing in grief or sorrow. Psalm 13 is an example of David dealing with his grief. He is truly feeling the effect of the loss. Then, he reminds himself that God will take care of him.
Good Christian counselors advise people to feel the full effect of their grief, talk about it openly and thoroughly. People that try to run away from it, rather than feel it and deal with it, bury a lot of junk and emotions that will, sooner or later, explode. Have you ever felt like that, you are dealing with so many emotions that you are going to explode?
Many want to run from their pain. They want to replace pain with another feeling as soon as they can. To recover from pain, you have to face it. You must stand in it and process it before it will dissipate. I think that's the way God has built us. Again, that's what David is doing in Psalm 13 ... he's processing the pain, and not just simply running away from it by replacing it with other emotions.
Don’t try to sweep it under the rug by not thinking about it or by pretending it didn’t happen. Feel what you feel, acknowledge it and give it to God to heal.
3) Share the burdens with others Gal 6:2. Before I start hearing the Bible contradicts itself in Gal 6:5 when it says we should bear our own burdens. Let’s get this out of the way right up front.
There are in the Scriptures eleven different words that are translated by our one English word burden. This means there are different kinds of burdens. There are some burdens that you can share; there are burdens that you must bear and you cannot share them with anyone. A burden that we cannot share is Meniere’s disease or any disease. We have to bear the load alone. We cannot give one of the symptoms to someone else to carry for us. We can share our feelings about it, but the disease and all of its physical problems are a burden that we have to pack on our own.
One of the burdens that we share with each other is the burden of Grief or sorrow. Have you ever been so down and out about something that it felt like a weight on your shoulders? Believe I would rather carry a pack of rocks on my back rather than trying to carry the burden of grief alone. Here again I believe this is what this part of the forum is all about. Share you load. It don’t take a bus load of common sense to figure out that the more people there is to carry a load, the easier it is to carry. I know that we all cannot be physically together to share our grief and burdens but we can share through our posts. I may not physically be able to pat you on the back and give you a hug but know that when I send you hugs I mean it. If I was with you I would give you one. How many times have we told a friend what was on our mind and what was on our heart that we have felt better afterwards?
4) Ask the Holy spirit to do His work of healing in your life John 14:15-19.
“Holy” and “Spirit” describe Him, but Comforter is His name, if He has a name. It is a very fitting name, as com means “along side of” and fortis means “strong.” He is the strong One who abides with us forever.
I cannot tell you the times that I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. Just had the calm come to me and KNOW in my heart that it is bad now but I am going to get through it. No matter the situation to me that is one of the coolest feelings. When the Holy Spirit is working with you, I just love that feeling.

Want to close with this little poem, and remember I am here for ya. This forum and especially this part of it, is a place where you will find an open ear that will listen to ya and a heart that will help share your grief.

Is thy cruse of comfort failing?
Rise and share it with a friend,
And thro’ all the years of famine
It shall serve thee to the end.
Love Divine will fill thy storehouse,
Or thy handful still renew.
Scanty fare for one will often
Make a royal feast for two.
Lost and weary on the mountains,
Wouldst thou sleep amidst the snow?
Chafe that frozen form beside thee,
And together both shall glow.
Art thou wounded in life’s battle?
Many stricken round thee moan;
Give to them thy precious ointment,
And that balm shall heal thine own.

 

When Christians use the term 'worldly' we simply mean methods that do not recognize God as authority. Nothing more is meant by that. Ted layed out a step-by-step Spritual process and then juxtaposed each step against its unhealthy counterpart. Unfortunately in this format, he cannot be all-encompassing in a study of grief.

A Christian's goal is not simply 'balance and calm,' but rather to recognize God's role in the process of grieving.

Please remember Ray's caution, 'Tolerance is the name of the game,' before accusing others of being 'generic, ignorant and unaware.'


Ted, So sorry that your good intentions, to bring church to those that want to but cannot attend, has been darkened in this way.

 

Now if only you could take your own advice. You are telling me what to do and then accusing ME of trying to take control? Don't project your own issues onto me. Your heavy handedness is seen throughout this forum. Your need to control the thoughts and behavior of others is evident everywhere we turn.

I have no need for control over this board. I actually have a life outside of here. My only reason for being here is that I love some of the people here and like hanging out with them. I don't want or need control over them. I like the fact that people are not carbon copies of me; that they do not march in lock-step with me. As a matter of fact, my 'best friends' here do not share my religious or political views, and I love them dearly.

But I do not like when others denigrate the Christian faith in overt or even subtle ways. And you do so quite frequently. I do speak up in such instances ... sometimes; not always.

I'll gladly not interact with you from now on. Can you refrain from denigrating the Christian faith? Unlikely.

 

I do not direct this to either of the posters above and would prefer neither respond.

I want to say to the people of Christian faith and upbringing, among whom I include myself, that there is nothing denigrating about the fact that not everyone is Christian in belief and that they wish to point out that they too can have understanding and thoughts which may in fact co-incide with the viewpoint of Christians.

I think it is important for all of us of any faith to realize that we don't have a corner on understanding. I find it heartening in fact that that many of us of different faiths or none often to find a similar truth or understanding and there is nothing denigrating to my faith about that.

There are many things about which we disagree and that is not denigrating either. But certainly the idea that someone says, I believe that too even though I am not Christian does not offend me.

Peace to all.

 

*Sigh* This is why we need seperate rooms for believers & non-believers, so that we can all share our thoughts and feelings without having to constantly debate someone and justify everything over it. :-\

 

An excellent post Ted........I appreciate your taking the time to share it.

 

Segregation? Why not go full throttle and just introduce apartheid?

I have a suspicion that you would get just as much diversity and debate from within a group of believers as occurs between believers and non believers. So, rather than trying to separate people into ever decreasing groups of agreement how about we leave it so that everyone's voice is equal?

 

Thank you, Ted.

I had the opportunity today to share my sister-in-Christ's burden of losing her brother. I had been praying for her brother for a long time before he died. He was an addict and God placed a burden on me to pray for him for years and years.

When my friend called, she said she had a very "traumatic" reaction to her brother's passing. She was shocked and she needed to talk for a long while and I needed to listen and be there for her. She wanted to talk about her faith and how God was comforting her during this time. She had seen a counselor and a pastor but, for her, she needed to know that someone who understood her perspective on salvation would just listen and share her grief. I knew her brother and I knew her. Her grief saddened me but I was able to comfort her with our shared faith.

Your "sermon" was a timely one for me, Ted.

 

I just wouldn't go over to the atheist section to butt heads and debate over why they aren't believers and/or christians and make them justify it to me;, and before you come back and say yes I would or whatever excuse you wanna make for me on my behalf, if you notice there are are like three other sections you NEVER see me in or I might make one post there every 6-7 months. That's because I am NOT interested in those sections at all and therefore have no reason to go over there and put in my .02

 

Yeah and so all those arguements and confrontations in this section between several different people on here were just a figment of my imagination, and the PM's I've gotten where people say that they don't come to the spiritual section for fear of being opposed or attacked happened on some other site I guess. : :

 

I'm not "bringing" anything anywhere, and are simply hanging out in this section wanting to talk openly about God without having to justify that to anyone - and shouldn't have to.

 

Where should all the people who aren't atheists but also aren't of your belief go then? Do you have a board for Christians who believe one way, Christians who believe another way, persons of faith who are not Christians (would you lump the Deists, Buddhists, Muslims, Mormans, Jews, Hindu and all the rest in one big heap?), a and then a board for atheists?

 

Ted - thanks! I appreciate what you did. Especially since I can't make it to church.

 

And that would be your choice. In a democracy we all get to sit on the bus wherever we like and talk to whomever we choose.

 

Ohhh quit with the race or sitting at the back of the bus references, because I grew up around and helped more people of color and different races then you could ever imagine, and don't have a prejudice bone in my body when it comes to all of that. And my ex-girlfriend from the Dominican Republic was at least 2 shades darker than you are.

 

'
I don't think that was a racial reference. Sometimes a bus is just a bus.

 

It goes with the other racial comment made earlier about me being FOR apartheid which is ludacris and absurd.

 

I guess I am not up to date.

 

Thanks June

Chris, the bus example was what is called a 'metaphor'. I was using the example of Rosa Parks and the bus to illustrate how unworkable, not to mention unfair, your suggestion is that we segregate the believers from the non believers. That is also what I meant by apartheid - not its literal use in South Africa, but a more generalised sense of segregation. Which is what you appear to be advocating for.

 

Ohhhh please forgive me for that Sarita, I mispelled something in your royal presence and I am sorry.