FATIGUE - Why am I so tired??

Discussion in 'Meniere's Disease "Database"' started by dizzjo, Oct 4, 2006.

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  1. dizzjo

    dizzjo One day at a time & baby steps!

    Fatigue and why you feel so tired.

    Fatigue comes up frequently with people who have Meniere’s Disease.

    One of the suspected reasons for the fatigue is the continuous conflicting information the brain gets from the damaged balance organ in the inner ear/ears and the other parts of the balance system, the eyes and the muscles.

    In a sense both the brain and the muscles are constantly adjusting for the constantly conflicting information, which is what wears you out.

    The emotional aspect has, to some extent, to do with the constant fatigue. The fatigue makes sure that you need to rest a lot and as a result you don't accomplish nearly enough of what you want to, leaving you to feel guilty. Fatigue can also be a symptom of depression. After all there is a lot to make you feel depressed. If you aren’t getting the needed sleep, depression can also result.

    Needing to accept that you are a different person now; your capabilities have changed. Concerning fatigue, for me, it DOES make sense.

    There are some days, when I need more sleep than others and after an attack of vertigo, it may take several days, or longer to recover. You shouldn’t feel bad about the extra sleep needed. Acceptance of the changes taking place in your life is sometimes the hardest part of dealing with your disease.
     
  2. gardenfish

    gardenfish New Member

    Joyce, you are one awesome person with all of the helpful topics. What a gal!
     
  3. sparksmith

    sparksmith New Member

    If I wasn't so darn tired I'd respond to this :)

    But Honestly....Thank you so much Joyce for the time and effort you put into this board. We have so many differnt types of help here it is amazing. Some have a gift for writing, some have knowledge and info, Some just overflow with love and compassion. Some seem to have all those but everybody is welcome to share.

    God Bless,
    Mike
     
  4. 7flygirl

    7flygirl New Member

    There's got to be a better way than getting 10 hours of sleep a day to stay alert!! Anyone have any suggestions?
     
  5. Bergie

    Bergie New Member

    I was just telling a fellow menierian about how tired I always...and there is no reason for it!

    And I am lucky in that coffee doesn't bother me!

    Eating healthy, getting a good amount of sleep...and this includes naps if you need them, drinking plenty of water, not smoking or drinking alcohol, and of course exercise....all help! Lowering stress too...that can exhaust us!! Or anyone for that matter!

    Yoga is suppose to help too!
     
  6. Peggy

    Peggy Grandkids gotta love um

    I am new to the MM stuff. But I can relate to the being tires all the time. I seem to not be able to get enough sleep. and then I am still tired
     
  7. Mya46

    Mya46 Knowledge is POWER!

    You can have your iron checked too! I find moderate exercise helps me during the day with fatigue. I always make time during work to get up and walk outside for a bit. Little bits help.

    Mya
     
  8. chez57

    chez57 Never invisible but always transparent

    When I went to see my GP on Monday and he said he thought I had MD, the first thing I asked was "but why do I feel so tired?". Honestly I could have curled up on his couch and slept for England. It wasn't just tiredness it was pure exhaustion!! Everytime I have a spinny moment I get this overwhelming tiredness.

    Last night before I was going out I standing at the mirror putting on my make up, spun for a minute then had to sit on the loo until the tiredness went. My husband came into the bathroom and asked was I still there. Must have been in there for half an hour. It passed off and I forced myself to go out.

    I am waiting for my doctor to decide if he is going to refer me to ENT, I am taking circ (I think that's what it's called) and he wants to wait to see if it works. I wish I could go now because I want some answers. Want to know if it is MD or just an ear infection that my nurse friend seems to think it is.

    My husband downloaded a book for me "How to sleep less and have more energy". Bless him. I tried not to laugh. But hey, perhaps I should read it and see how it goes. So obviously he thinks I sleep more than what any normal person does.

    The only good side to sleeping is that this stupid ringing in my ears stops (if only I could get to sleep because of it). Bit of a catch 22.

    Take care

    C
     
  9. johnny pinwheel

    johnny pinwheel New Member

    i have to sleep with the tv on, that damn ringing. bad sleep and the dreaded "menieres" unbalance. between the 2, i am often tired also!
     
  10. cupoftea

    cupoftea New Member

  11. Aladdin

    Aladdin Guest

    i am always fatigued; but i no longer feel guilt about resting i however tend to over do it when i should be home resting (i am sure most of us here can relate)
     
  12. ThornInDaesSide

    ThornInDaesSide New Member

    I've never needed much sleep, until about two years ago. Now, I nap almost daily.

    And car drives over an hour long lull me right to sleep, whereas before they didn't! Even with someone talking with me the whole time, I go out like a light! I no longer drive long distances...
     
  13. jabber

    jabber New Member

    Fatigue to me is just a normal part of the illness,and Joyce has said it alland when you have Chronic Fatigue syndrome along with it with it's own fatigue and muscle and body achesthe best thing you can do is let your body rest so it can heal itself. Loretta
     
  14. DizzyNBlue

    DizzyNBlue Forever Faithful Dumbass

    Re: I feel awful. Affects of After the Attack

    Hi there I'm so very sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I hope this helps you. Unfortunately as you've seen/felt , not everybody returns immediately to "normal" after an attack. When you try to move or focus your eyes, you may feel new symptoms. They may vary in intensity and number from just feeling a "bit off" and tired to being almost unable to get out of bed, and they can last for days if another attack does not occur.These symptoms can interfere with your normal functioning and dampen your desire to do much of anything.

    Why so many different sensatons after an attack? Balance is basically unconscious and goes on day after day without much thought. With the attacks, balance becomes conscious, something to be constantly aware of. Not only does balance become conscious, it has been disturbed, and the brain requires a period of time to readjust. This period of time I've come to call "Aftermath."

    The brain expects consistent and meaningful vestibular signals at all times. During the attack, the signals change from the norm and change again when the attack stops. The post-attack messages from inner ear to brain may not be identical to the pre-attack messags this creates a mismatch among the three systems collecting balance information - vision, proprioception(gathering information via sensors in muscles, tendons, joints, ligaments, and connective tissue.The informaon is about gravity, bod position, external surfaces, an he length and motion of the muscles and joints), and the vestibular system-and the expectations of the brain. (The brain expects the three systms to supply the same information they have in the past and at the same rates.)

    When conditions change, the brain immediately tries to adapt to the new situation. It struggled to do so during the attack and will continue to do so in the two or three days after the attack. As the vestibular signals become consistnt, the brain re-acclimates itself, and the symptoms calm down and usually fade away, at least during the beginning or early stages of MM.

    This disruption in vestibular signals can cause vertigo, lightheadedness, heavyheadedness, visual problems, stiffness fatigue, incrased need for sleep,a hangover feling, balance problems when you try to move, and a general feling og "things jst not being right"for a few days after an attack. Sometimes there is also a feeling of "unreality." (A Star Trek fan might call it a temporal anomally or a parallel reality.)

    The aftermath symptoms can fit into a few broad categories: head sensations, general feeling, sound affects, vision, stiffness, and movement. (The sound effects may also be caused by the formation of scar tissue from the membranous labyrinth that attaches like a rubber band to the stapes bone.) Each of these broad categories includes several sensations that might be present right after an attack.

    You are very lucky that you can still work. Although have you possibly thought of taking time off til you can see your doctor? It may be just what you need, sonds like you're having a pretty tough time of it. When my first attack hit Jan 10, 2001 I've not worked a day since. I was so sick I couldn't walk let alone stand up. He left me in the LaZ-Boy recliner at a 30 degree angle as that was as comfortorable as I could manage to get. I lived in that chair for a good 6 months as I could not lay down in the bed b/c it was too flat a surface after all this time I still can't lay on flat surfaces and I have come a long way from Jan 2001. I learnd to walk with a walker, then a cane and finally graduated to walking by myself. I went to Siskin Re-hab to re-learn how to do the most simplest things. Thats another story I had alot of time to read about MM and learned all I could. So I could try and understand it and how to cope with it. I still have my days. I will explain some more tomorrow about the "Aftermath" it's going on midnight and I've lost track of time. I didn't sleep well last night so I need to go for awhile. I will get back to you.
    My advice would be to run off some material for your boss and have a talk with him/her and possibly take off til you can get to the doctor. You're probably only making it harder on yourself working and being all stressed. I personally think VEDA aka www.vestibular.org has some really good information.

    Hoping you have a better day tomorrow

    I've been where you are and still go there at times you have my deepest sympathy and I will have you in my prayers.
     
  15. DizzyNBlue

    DizzyNBlue Forever Faithful Dumbass

    Re: I feel awful. where I left off in ref to the Aftermath

    I do this to try and help others as I would have loved to have the information then that I have now. I've come along way. I would like ones that are having a hard time see that although there's no "cure" there is a light at the end of this vortex of a tunnel and you will come out a better person than when you first began. I know that I am a new person, I know that God has brought me through the storm and what I/we are going through things will change, it will get better and the more you/we wrestle with it the worse it gets, give it over to God and things will get better... Nothing says life is free of trials. God will work things out for your good if you just have faith & trust Him.
    I'm not a bible thumper I Just Know My Help comes from God w/o him there's no telling where I would be now.
    As Mya states "Knowledge is Power" There just comes a point in time you have to accept MM, learn about it, learn your triggers, and go on the journey of finding the new you. You need to control MM and not let it control you. I fought for 6 months laying in the recliner being as still as I could possibly be. He'd leave for work with the tele, something to drink and plain no salt crackers for me to snack on by my side, if by chance I could hold anything down. When he came in after work he immediately "carried" me to the bathroom ... I could not do anything for myself.

    After hating the world and blaming anyone and everything I could possibly think of my ENT and Curtis finally talked me into just seeing a theraphist b/c both said I was not helping myself being so upset all the time and askingwhen I was scheduled for my heart attack. I cried I'd say 99% of the time. I'd worked since I was 16. Was a very independent person, care free and very happy. I'd met Curtis after being divorced 10 years, strictly by fate, we do believe. I lived, ate an slept my job I didn't need anyone. On Jan 1, 2001 I got a promotion, a raise my own office, was buying a brand new car. I was living large and on top of the world.

    NINE DAYS LATER EVERYTHING WAS GONE!! I can now joke and say I always wanteds to retire at 40. I just forgot to let God know I wanted to be healthy when I retired at 40. I turned 40 a month after getting sick. Now do I have the luck or what <soft smile> I'm retired alright, have been for going on 6 yrs now. What I would not give to be able to drive, work;a part time job or work at home job would suit me. Just something/anything to fill up all the EMPTY time I have each and every day. Some days I'm ok with it and others I cry as I watch people drive by my house b/c they don't have a clue or give it a second thought just how lucky they are that they can come and go as they please. OK moving on ............. I try not to watch out the window as much as possible and have the TV or radio so I can't hear them drive by <smile>

    We dated for four years and then I got sick, he moved me in with him and took care of me. We will be married 2 yrs this coming Feb. It Can Be Done. Things Will Get Better or shall I say you learn how to cope with our new friend MM and living in DizzyLand.
    I will admit I am dealing with depression I am trying to learn how to deal with the stress of being prisoner in my own house. I go out when my husband has errands to run or we need groceries. Sometimes I can't even do that b/c I'm to dizzy. I can now joke and say I am a cheap drunk as it costs absoutely nothing for me to get drunk. I laugh at my doctors when they ask about alcohol and/or recreational drugs. I stay drunk and have a funky head about 24/7 I don't need any help. I really don't know how anyone could drink or take drugs.. I think if they could be in our bodies just 8 hours if that long they'd never touch the stuff again.
    SoCal I will post what you asked in the MM database section. It makes me happy that I was able to help.

    What's important "Do Not Give Up, Never Give Up"
     
  16. DizzyNBlue

    DizzyNBlue Forever Faithful Dumbass

    Re: I feel awful. Head Sensations and Sound Effects

    Odd head sensations such as lightheadedness or heavyheadedness are fairly common after an attack and can last a few days. These can be disturbing and distractng and make some people feel that something else even more serious is actuall happening.

    Lightheadedness may be caused by a disruptionof the autonomic nervous system, a blood pressure lower than usual, dehydraton from vomitting during an attack, and/or a disturbance of the gravity sensors (utricle and saccule) of the inner ear.

    Heavyheadedness is the feeling of the head being heavier than it ought to be. This sensation may also be caused by a disturbance of the inner ear's gravity sensors.

    Diplacusis, a single tone sounding like two tones, is not uncommon. To check to see if you have diplacusis, try whistling one long tone, and decide if it sounds like one tone or two. Diplacusis can occur b/c of the difference between the "good" ear and the one affected by MM.

    Hyperacusis, in which sound seems to be louder than it actually is, is another common problem. It can range from slightly annoying to severe, causing you to avid sound as much as possible. The cause fro this problem is not really inderstood. This symptom isnot limited to people with MM.

    Another possible MM symptom related to sound is called the Tullio phenomenon. With this problem, sound causes vertigo. The Tullio phenomenon may be caused by an enlarged saccule (large b/c of the excessive amount of endolymph in the inner ear) being pushed by a middle ear bone.

    Sound causes stapes bone to slip in and out through the oval window. If the saccule has enlargd to the point that it touches the oval window on the inner ear side of this opening, stapes movement can affect it.

    The sensation of vertigo in response to sound also occurs with a problem called perilymph fistula. (With this problem, the movement of the stapes bone probably causes perilymph, the other inner ear fluid, to leak from the oval window.
     
  17. DizzyNBlue

    DizzyNBlue Forever Faithful Dumbass

    Re: I feel awful. Vision/Eyes - Stiffness/Pain and Movement

    Visual dissiculties are common during and after an attack of MM. These problems include difficulty focusing the eyes, difficulty watching movement, visual distortions, and diffulcity reading.

    Difficulty focusing the eyes might be caused by lingering autonomic nervous system efect that caused the pupils of the eyes to be larger than usual. (The puplis must be able to contract, or your eyes can't focus properly). Or the cause might be lingering nystagmus.

    Watching movement can trigger nausea and dizziness b/c the movement seen can be mistaken for body movement. (Man I Hate This Loverly Perk) It is confusing when proprioception and the vestibular system say that the body is still, and the eyes say it is moving. This confusion creates unpleasant sensations. (You Think!!) lmbo You have to laugh...what else can you do with it?!?!

    Lingering nystagmus (eye jerking) can feel like eye movement or can cause things appear to jump, particularly in the periphery (off to the side rather than in the middle).

    Difficulty reading can be caused by focusing problems, the illusion of false movement when a line of words is scanned, and lingering nystagmus


    Muscle stiffiness, anywhere from head to toe, and headache are also common in the days after an attack.
    Holding your neck rigidly to prevent movement during an attack can cause neck ache (Gots to LOVE this PERK) <soft smile> Also, if vestibular information is faulty or absent, your brain may not have the information it needs to control neck muscles in the usual way. The muscles can become tense and stiff.

    Other muscles can also stiffen b/c of the change in vestibular informaion that occured during the attack. This information is used for reflexes that help you move "naturally." When the information is faulty or absent, the muscles of the arms, legs and trunk can become stiff, and movement no longer feels "right."
    Headaches can be caused by just plain not feeling well, facial muscle strain from trying to focus your eyes, holding your head rigidly during an attack, and vomitting, which can lead to dehydration.


    In the days following an attack, movement can seem to be an adventure rather than something automatic.

    (Buckle up Garfield It's Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride)

    Again laugh, what else can you do... Do Not Give UP!!

    Staggering, stumbling, and feeling unsteady are common. You may need to hang on to furniture and walls while navigating, but this should not go on for days and days (BUT it CAN). This problem with moving will be more pronounced when you can't see, such as at night or when your eyes are closed (I'm totally night blind)

    "Unsteady", by the way, can be a description of how you look as you move, or it can be describe how you feel. You can feel unsteady w/o looking unsteady. The unsteadiness in the post-attack phase of your MM can occur b/c of the disturbance of your vestibular-movement reflexes and the readjustment your brain is undergoing b/c of the attack.

    After an attack, some people stand and/or walk with their feet further apart than usual. This is part of an unconscious effort to prevent falling. A wider base can creat stability.

    Motion intolerance during the aftermath is common. Transient vertigo or nausea can occur during movement that involves your head. The movement can be turning of your head while your body is still or a turning of your entire body along with your head. These symptoms occur b/c of the mismatch between what the brain expects and what it gets during head movement. I personally can be extremely dizzy, try "Really Hard" not to move my head for up to 3 days, I stopped counting long ago <soft smile> it comes back sooner or later

    Ok thats my 50 cents of what I know about the "Aftermath" of an attack. I hope that it has been of some help as to some questions about how you feel after an attack.

    I know sweety, I still feel awful as well. I know I am and sure others are as well right there with you no matter how far apart in miles we may be. You're all in my thoughts n prayers. Being here among DizzyLand members has been such an outlet for me I can not begin to put it into words.

    May 2007 be a more steady year for us all!!
     
  18. Marian

    Marian New Member

    For more than 25 years, having MM already, I was never that tired (I thought). Had vertigo attacks during the first 4 years but had to keep going as I had small children. So when there was a solution to stop the vertigo attacks, getting a Labyrinthectomy, I did not think too long about it. The right ear was already that bad that I could not hear anyone over the telephone with that one.

    Then the left ear started 3 years later and then I was very tired. Mainly because of depression. I was so dissappointed, as my specialist never told me that the other one also could become sick. And I also did not know that MM would stay with me for life. No computers, no information. Got some through a colleague from my husband who knew a doctor in the hospital who was willing to give me some medical articles about Meniere. It was very difficult reading with words I had never heard in my life. But I discovered that I would have it (maybe it said) forever. The tiredness got worse and the depression too. Sometimes knowledge does not do us much good. I was just past 40 years old and had already years behind me with many physical disorders for which I had to go into hospital. I was quite unhappy with myself. And with living in New Zealand where we had migrated too, coming from the other end of the world. When you do not feel happy and are sick, you want to be with your family. And hubby had a nice job which he liked and did not think of returning. He also did not understand the seriousness of Meniere. He did not read those articles. My hearing in my left ear was immediately down (first sign that it was sick).

    But I got, after treatment by a psychologist, a real nice long remission. I forgot completely that I had something wrong with me and did everything I wanted to do again. Also walking and climbing in the mountains, although my balance had to be kept very well under control, with only one balance organ.

    Lots happened later, I studied for 5 years at University and worked there half time as a secretary in the Law Department. I felt so much happier and not really tired at all. Had a big house to keep clean, a big garden too which I loved to work in, but it took lots of energy and my back (which never had been good) ached every Saturday after I had worked all day in the garden. On Sundays we went out, exploring the country, going to the beach in summer and having barbecues in rivers on the rocky areas. Life was really fantastic then. No feeling of homesickness anymore. We had many friends and went to parties. And I had lots of energy. Still did all the sewing for the children and some for myself as we were not very rich at all. And preserving fruit from the garden and freezing my vegetables from the vege garden.

    But for reasons, which are too long to describe, we went back to Holland in 1990. Hubby had no job, I got two at the same time, so had a choice. For about 2 years I was the main income earner. Hubby had some teaching to do, but only to replace sick teachers. In NZ he was not a teacher, but here they did not accept that he had no diplomas from what he did in New Zealand. I worked very long hours and took some work home too, so I became quite tired then. And soon the remission was over. So there we were, back in our home country, but I was in fact sick and hubby had no regular job. Daughter nr. 2 was still in New Zealand and we later heard that she had very bad anorexia. Also not something to feel much better from. I wished I could turn the clock back and not left her there. The stress got worse each year, till we decided to go back and pick her up to be with us, as in hospital in New Zealand she was so lonely. Her friends were too scared to look her up and I got photos later (we had sent our eldest daughter over to see her sister - we all paid for it, the grandparents too) showing a girl I hardly recognised - so skinny and not looking like her old self anymore. Here in the country she was admitted to a eating disorder clinic and for years I feared for her life. But I still had to work fulltime, my husband had finally a steady job too, so money was not a problem anymore, but the anxiety about my daughter .............I got more and more trouble with the Meniere, but only one person knew why I was sometimes sick: the professor I worked for, he understood it all as he also had a brother who had committed suicide. Three nights I have been in one of the hospital intensive care units, hoping my daughter would not slip away from me. Well, later she married to her male nurse, something she should never have done, but she was not really OK and only trusted him.

    I got some leave from work in 1995 as my head was roaring like anything. And a secretary has to talk and listen to people. They were really good to me, got even some extra money as someone had apparently told the Personnel Manager that I worked and worked and was in fact sick, but kept going on. From that money we went some months later to Cyprus. And I wanted to see everything of course. But noticed then that I could not walk that far anymore, got so very tired and there are not everywhere seats to rest. We rented a car and that problem was solved a bit. Went back to work afterwards, but still was tired. And it stayed with me from then on and even got lots worse.

    Now I am at home since 1999, had to stop working and recruitment was added to all I had thusfar. I had it already while I worked, and it was no fun. So difficult not to tell the others, that myy ear hurted som much when they slammed drawers in their normal way. Everytime I thought: this is the limit, it can't get worse. I also asked the children to realise that I had had enough on my plate and was so dead tired. But I still looked very well after some time being at home. My hearing got up and down and the tinnitus was like at work: engines roaring, trains going right through my head, sirenes of fire engines or ambulances, deep roaring, high whistling, some all at the same day. My right deaf ear had a deep hum and a high whistling sound - always.

    Now since about 2-3 years pulsatile tinnitus was added to the normal tinnitus. So not every day but if it happened, I thought: please let the other sounds come back! And now I have it every day, last year after the summer it became steady, before the summer too, not during summer time but I was more dizzy then because it was so horribly hot (40 o Celsius). I have been reading now, to get to know more about pulsatile tinnitus. And medical articles from Medline tell me that it can have many causes. A MRI can probably make it clearer to the specialists, but even if nothings shows on that there are other options to test the veins in the head. It is in fact vascular tinnitus and my veins are very thin, everywhere. I hardly ever went to see a specialist, but tried it this time again, as I really can't live with this terrible sound that goes up and up till you think that your veins will burst in yur head and then down again for a few heartbeats and up as before. Never a rest, never slowing down. When I sleep I do not hear it that much anymore. But my body has many things wrong too, so I can sleep for 3-4 hours and have to get out of bed as my body does not allow me to lie down again.

    It is no wonder that I am now so very, very tired. I want so much, but cannot do it. I was very proud that last week when I was going for the MRI, I could walk all the distance from the carpark building (we were parked at the far end) and then you have to walk across the many roads going underneath, through the hospital, which is a big one, to the MRI dept. And later back again. But the days later I could not do a thing anymore. My muscles ached from the walking, but that was not that bad. But my head and ear were hurting like anything. The sound of the MRI had gone right through my good plug (in my left ear) and I also had earmuffs on given by the hospital. Now, 5 days later, the pain is not that bad anymore. But I feel drained, like have gone through a washing machine. I fell today twice, not a drop attack, but when I bent down or stand up from a chair, the blood goes up to my head again (maybe all against physical science in), but that is what I feel. And it shwooshes then so loud that I loose balance and fall over. I do not loose consciousness, and also do no hurt myself that much as I can stretch my arms out to prevent to fall flat down.

    I really hope that the specialists can do something about this horrible condition. I am worn out, everything is aching, my eyes are itching from tiredness. I sleep some hours during the day, but all broken up into 1 or 2 hours. And when I get up the pulsatile tinnitus is even worse again. But my body needs rest and sleep.
    I have Meniere now since about 1974 and the tiredness has been building up and up. I ignored it very often, but did myself harm by not listening to my body. Now it is too late, I think, to get rid of the intense tiredness. But I only hope that something can be done about the pulsatile tinnitus. Maybe then the recruitment will get less too. That should give me some more energy, I hope!

    Marian
     
  19. dizzjo

    dizzjo One day at a time & baby steps!

    I thank you all for additional insight into why we are fatigued. No one know your body and it's rhythms better than you - the owner. I think once we understand ourselves, we understand our needs better.

    I feel I have to take into account that I am among the golden agers and have to take that into account too. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose you could say. I am glad to see your comments about why you feel fatigued. :D 8)
     
  20. Jazza

    Jazza Saved by Grace Thru Christ Jesus

    Although I don't suffer from MM I suffer from pain & inflamation. As I got my condition young I was able to cope better then and could still manage with little sleep to go to work & come home. I only had limited energy so after dinner I organised myself for the next working day and went to bed exhausted. This went on for a few years and then I had to give up permanent work and do short contracts with breaks in between to recover. I finished work in 2003 as I couldn't do it any longer. Although I manage my flares up much better as I am home and I can do regular exercise and cook/prepare all my own meals (no junk, presevatives, wheat etc..). However, I do have to have naps through the day. I rarely get through a day without at least one lie down. I have a number of friends with various autoimmune diseases and they too all complain of tiredness. It has probably got to do with the body's system being out of whack and having to fight the diseases we suffer with.

    I've given up feeling guilty I just cope the best I can. No use in wasting energy on uneccessary emotions it only saps your strength.

    Milica
     

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