Elderly parents

Sherry - is your dad in a wheelchair? If so, ask about a "lap buddy" instead of restraints. It's a soft foam padded tray that sits on their lap, and hooks around the armrests of the wheelchair to keep the person in.

As for presents, I am getting Mom and her roommates soft fuzzy lap blankets and throws...good for cold legs in chairs, and quick cover-ups for naps.....

Also nice warm slippers and soft knit caps...I was amazed at the number of ladies who wear them in the nursing home...so much heat is lost through the top of the head....

Many of the residents have small soft pillows they use to prop themselves up with, or lay their head against, or just as something soft to feel.

Most of my gifts are about comfort.

I also gave my mom a photo album....I enlarged copies of her favorite photos, and she loves to look at it. (You just have to be careful with anything you leave at a nursing home...sometimes things sprout legs and walk away... :)

xoxoxoxoxo

 

Oh Sherry,

I know what you mean about your dad falling and not getting hurt. Same with my 95 year old grandmother. It amazes me how she hasn't even had a fracture. But I think it does have to do with the fact that they don't brace from the fall. They just crumple.

It's never easy for the elderly to have to face the truth of their circumstances. And let's face it--your mom has had a lot to face all at once. I pray that she will allow you to comfort her. Perhaps once she processes things more she will be a bit better.

Hang in there.

 

Deercharmer, my dad is still pretty ambulatory and altho he has a wheelchair that he uses, they like for him to use his walker too and keep his legs working as long as possible. The problem is, being an old guy, he needs frequent trips to the bathroom and he jumps up and then doesn't remember where the bathroom is and he gets confused.

The nursing home he is in does not use restraints. Currently they now have a body alert attached to him and to the chair, or the bed, or the wheelchair - wherever he is... so when he gets up, the staff is alerted and they really are quick about coming to help! The first day we visited he had the nurses call button in his lap and I asked him if he knew what it was for. Of course he had been told, but he didn't remember. I told him he could push the button and a nurse would come if he needed help. So he pushed the button! LOL The nurses were there in about 30 seconds and we had to apologize for a false alarm. (We also set off the exterior door alarm not knowing you had to enter a code to get out, and we got in trouble at the hospital for taking my mother off her floor down to the cafeteria. We didn't know she was not to leave her floor, but they were doing construction on the floor above with JACKHAMMERS!!!! and it was so noisy she needed to get away from it.)

Last night my mom visited dad for the first time - 8 days after his admittance. She asked if he recognized her. In a moment of coherance he said yes, he hadn't seen her for a while. My brother told him that mom had been really sick. My bro said it was the saddest thing he'd ever seen. Dad's lip begin to quiver and he started to break down and said that maybe she would get better and things would go back to the way they were before.

I don't think we should tell him again that she is sick, or even if she dies. Every time it will be like re-living it again like the first time. There are benefits to living in that other world wherever he is most of the time. He is happier there. Sigh...

re: the photo album, I told Mom there was a way to convert 35 mm slides to digital images and we could make a photo album. She wants to do this since almost all of our family vacations and pictures of my brother and I as kids are on 35 mm slides. So I guess I have a project to work on. It won't be for Christmas, but it will have to be in a hurry - sorting through boxes and boxes of slides!

 

God bless you Sherry. I am praying for your parents and for your strength to continue.

 

Oh, Sherry...it's nice that the nursing home staff responds so quickly, but sadly, that isn't always the case. I sure understand about them wanting him to use his walker...being upright is much better on ALL the body's systems - especially the kidneys.

As for giving him bad news, most Alzheimers and dementia staff usually say that it just isn't fair to the elderly person...they have to relive the grief and heartache all over again each time they hear the news.

The social worker at our nursing home told us of one lady in another nursing home, whose husband had passed away years before, but she didn't remember that. Fortunately, her son kept her telephone number assigned to a phone in his house. They just let it ring. The lady would call home to talk to her husband, and when no one would answer, she would hang up, saying "Oh, he's probably out in the garage again. I'll call back later..." Sometimes it would be weeks before she'd call again.

My mom and I were talking about family members, and she asked if my great-aunt (on my dad's side) was still alive. I told her she had passed away about 30 years ago. "Well," she said, "I guess it's too late to send a card..."

God bless all the elderly folks and the people who love them!!!

 

May the Lord comfort and strengthen you and your family.

 

God bless you and your family. I have been down that road.......listen..........you need to enlist all the help you can get, no one person can handle it all. Start with the doctor, they should be able to help you as far as home health, etc. CHeck with your local senior services. I know how it can be, my mother was very stubborn, angry at me a lot, and depressed. You have to do the best thing for YOU and YOUR family, trust me it will take its toll if you dont.

 

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you friend and your parents. I wish the news could be more positive--- but they are both SO fortunate to have a daughter like you.
Please give yourself the credit you deserve.

 

Sherry; many prayers and hugs. God bless you. :-*

 

xoxox

sent you text

 

Prayers for strength and a special annointing!

Also ~ {{{BIG HUGS}}}

 

Didn't go well yesterday.... long story. Nothing went well in many different ways...

Today was better. Thanks for your prayers. I sure wish I could hear!!!! :'(

 

(((((hug))))) Sherry. :-*

I wish we both could hear. :-*

 

ah Sherry, I wish you could hear, and Toni you as well. Some days I cannot hear a thing. the world is different then. I hope our aged parents (Mom is still alive) feel fulfilled.
Paul

 

Sorry Sherry,

Take the good days. Don't know what else to say.

Tom

 

when I can I'll be your hearing

 

My mom's full body scan results came back yesterday. The cancer is already in her lungs, kidneys and liver - in addition to the stomach where they just discovered in early December. They now give her 3 months. She is taking Procrit to build up her blood count, after losing so much blood from the masses in her stomach. Her doc wants her to stay on this a while, so she can't have Hospice until they complete those treatments. She gets a shot of it every week.

My dad is doing great in the nursing home, eating well, getting physical therapy, lots of mental stimulation, cleaner and more contented. Is happy to see us come visit, happily waves goodbye when we leave. Never has asked to go home. This has been quite a surprise to my mother who said he would die in 30 days in the nursing home.

My mother is not doing what the doctor says to do. We can't decide if she is too depressed to follow through, if she just forgets, or is willfully ignoring him. She is the world's most stubborn person. Please pray for God to soften her hard heart and to touch my father in a moment of lucidity. :'(

 

Oh Sherry......my heart aches for you and your parents. I know it all too well. I'm so sorry to hear this latest news of your mother's prognosis. Honestly, if he's giving her 3 months, why the delay to give her hospice care? The Hospice staff were the most wonderful and peaceful people to help my father in his last weeks. They are truly angels on this earth and helped carry me as well. The whole painful existence in those last days were somehow made joyful through these Godly and annointed professionals. I'm certain that dad's passing would have been more traumatic and unnessessarily delayed had it not been for the compassion and care of our hospice nurses, chaplin and doctors.

Many hugs and God's blessing to you.....but mostly peace in your heart and peace and comfort for your parents.

Much love!XO

 

Prayers going out to you, your family, and your parents.

 

:-* :-* :-* :-*