Casual Conversation

What makes you stay?

 

Entertainment value.

 

I keep thinking if I stick with it, it will be done soon. On the other hand. I wonder what motivates people to stay with something.

(I did not mean stay on the forum).

I was reading some articles online about practice. Lay people who had never practiced any particular thing before just decided they were going to. This was in connection with Buddhism but it could be anything.

Just setting the intention seemed to make a huge difference and then they stayed committed to it.

 

I think this thread was deleted by the moderator. He or she must have found it offensive. It's disrespectful to bring it back, then. Just my opinion.

 

Sometimes I stay with something because I made a promise.
Sometimes I stay with something out of stupidly hoping if I stick with it it will resolve in a positive way, when at some level I know it probably won't.

Sometimes I cut my losses and I don't stick with something.

It all depends on the circumstances, but basically I am usually too stubborn to quit.

 

An article from Money magazine of a few years' ago concluded:

The authors of one study conclude, "We still do not know which factors encourage individuals to engage in deliberate practice." Or as University of Michigan business school professor Noel Tichy puts it after 30 years of working with managers, "Some people are much more motivated than others, and that's the existential question I cannot answer - why."

The critical reality is that we are not hostage to some naturally granted level of talent. We can make ourselves what we will. Strangely, that idea is not popular. People hate abandoning the notion that they would coast to fame and riches if they found their talent. But that view is tragically constraining, because when they hit life's inevitable bumps in the road, they conclude that they just aren't gifted and give up.

Maybe we can't expect most people to achieve greatness. It's just too demanding. But the striking, liberating news is that greatness isn't reserved for a preordained few. It is available to you and to everyone.

 

I think I misunderstood your original question, Intrepid.

The question about what motivates some people to work hard at deliberate practice and not others is really interesting to me. I wonder if it's a nature/nurture thing?

 

It's too difficult to answer that question in a vacuum, by the way, because the answer depends on what the "it" is. In other words, some people stick to behaviors (smoking, gambling, etc) due to addictions, others stick to behaviors (daily rituals, etc) out of habit, and others stick to behaviors (staying in jobs/relationships that don't make them happy) out of need.

So, really, why a person "stays" is largely dependent on what they're staying with.

 

It is to me too Rose. That's the direction I was headed but didn't elaborate enough initially as I was reading through some articles.

Clearly nature sets us up for success in certain areas, whether it's height, a good voice, high IQ, musical talent, etc. But achieving greatness is up to us. It can only be done through much, much practice until it becomes second nature.

Some have this drive to improve that is incredible and I don't mean improve in an arrogant way but to achieve the next level...in anything, even if it is "just" sitting in meditation and letting go (which is by no means easy).

 

It can be anything "it" is for you. I don't know what "it" is that people stick with in their lives, both in the positive and the negative, which is why my question was open ended initially.

 

Malcolm Gladwell discusses this in "Outliers" at length. He concludes that it takes approximately 10,000 hours of practicing something before a person can truly become a master at it. However, Gladwell adds the caveat that simply being naturally talented AND working hard alone do not suffice, but that the luck of circumstances is an enormous factor in differentiating the successful from the unsuccessful.

 

Right, but my point is that the same person sticks to lots of "its," but not all for the same reason. Some people actually work at getting better at a given thing, other people simply do things repetitively for the comfort of the ritual. People with OCD don't stick to washing their hands 500 times a day because they want to master hand-washing.

 

I would agree with that.

I think, however, that when talent and hard work mesh to that level, one naturally gravitates toward circumstances (within one's control) where success will be the outcome. Don't you think?

 

OCD is pretty much beyond one's control unless you learn ways to control it, even so...

I wasn't headed in the direction of mental health issues. That's another deal.

 

Not necessarily. Certainly, hard work is important and correlates with success. But if circumstances are such that what you happen to excel at isn't supported by your environment then no amount of hard work is going to matter. Think of how many potentially brilliant entrepeneurs never had a chance to express their greatness under Communist rule in the Soviet Union, for example.

 

True.

Think of those who have that chance every day in a free world and waste it, despite talent and hard work.

My opinion is that it takes brutal discipline to get to where one wants to be and maintain it.

 

I understand that, but we're talking about motivation and what causes people to "stick" with something. Like it or not, mental health problems can cause people to perseverate on issues. Look at Temple Grandin, for example. She fixated on slaughterhouses because she's autistic and that set her up for becoming obsessed.

 

In my opinion -- and based on my own experience -- I believe this is only true in the case of self-made people.

 

I would think it would be difficult for a multiply talented person to seek a high level in one particular talent without the right environment. Futhermore the invironment that such people would gravitate toward is simply a matter of life and where it takes them. I don't know that it would be a conscience decision so much as an 'accident of fate' for lack of a better phrase.

For instance, take a look at a musical background. I believe it's circumstantial whether a person could achieve greatness without a pivotal 'chance' happening that brings their hard work, motivation and dedication to light.

 

It didn't exactly go that way but I get the gist of what you mean