Breastfeeding (topic continued from CUJSTDCNT thread)

We can continue the vaccine discussion here http://www.menieres.org/forum/index.php/topic,30520.0.html, for those who don't want this thread to veer off topic.

 

You should sue.

 

May I add that I'm all in favor of breast feeding?

 

I've been thinking about this post for a couple of days now, but have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to formulate what I wanted to say!

Ok, here goes, What Caroline experienced REALLY bothers me. It strikes me as a perfect example of the effectiveness of the marketing campaigns of the formula industry.

She had no interest in breastfeeding. Like it's something you do only if you have an interest in it.

And I shouldn't blame only the formula companies. A lot of their success depended on changes in society, where it became acceptable to prop a baby in a stroller (or even a crib!) with a bottle, where perceived convenience for the parents takes precedence over a baby's needs, and where "scientific formula"--even from a can--is considered preferable to mother's milk.

I'm not trying to sling blame around here. I just want to say how much the whole thing disturbs me--that society got to the point where real mothering (or parenting) is discouraged, and where normal, intelligent, caring parents are deceived into thinking that formula is not only a reasonable option but a preferable one. And it upsets me that people like Caroline feel guilty because they believed the mistaken info the "experts" told them.

Please don't feel guilty, Caroline!

 

Thanks TM. You hit the nail on the head but the funny thing is in all other aspects I was a really good Mum.

It is true that I did not know the benefits of breast-feeding and I did think that formula was just as good and with the need to return to work I believed I was saving a lot of hassle for the baby and me.

I was 24 with my first child and did not have the critical thinking skills that I have now. I followed easily and no one ever mentioned that breast-feeding would be more beneficial for the baby. The thinking at the time was that formula was the way for working mothers. I remember the formula being extremely expensive.

 

When my first baby was born, all the mums I knew tried to breastfeed, and either had such trouble with it that it only lasted a few weeks, or were unable to continue when they went back to work. One of my colleagues had never been told that there were such things as lactation consultants, electric breast pumps, etc. (And this was NOT that long ago!)

So I remember the OBGYN asking me what my feeding plans were, and I remember answering, "oh, I'll give breastfeeding a try, and if it doesn't work, I'll do formula."

What actually happened was a series of miracles (to my way of thinking, anyway).

I had pre-eclampsia, AND hyperemisis, AND the baby stopped growing in the third trimester. They induced labor 3 weeks early, because the placenta was obviously failing.

Baby was 4.5 pounds--and then, at 7 weeks, was diagnosed with a very large VSD.

I was VERy lucky that my sister-in-law is the Queen of Breasfeeding. She told me to ask for the lactation consultant BEFORE there was a problem,which meant that I had good advice from someone from the get-go.

My mother started doing research as soon as the VSD diagnosis was in, and found a study showing that breastfed babies with cardiac problems did better than formula-fed babies. Thank God she found it, because the cardiologist wanted me to immediately switch to formula so that he could monitor intake, as these babies tend to have trouble gaining weight (because they are burning up calories circulating blood to the lungs twice, and because their hearts are stressed), and then they need surgery.

At that point, there was no way you could convince me to put ANYTHING in his mouth except my milk. And there was no way you could convince me that it was okay to let him burn up calories and stress out crying.

So, in a weirdly miraculous way, all these problems added up to my being a much better and knowledgeable mother than I would have been if everything had been fine from the beginning.

I had read that mothers of premies produce a very different kind of milk than mothers of full-term babies--that it's EXACTLY what the baby needs. There are no studies (yet) of what mothers of babies with cardiac problems produce, but I wonder if that's different, too?

 

Not funny at all--one can give formula and still be a wonderful mom!

 

So I have a quick question on BF; one of my friends is a young mom and her doctor told her she had to stop BF because he wasn't growing; he was 10 lbs at 2 months I think. Is that just a myth or can some people truely not BF? It's about $22.00 a can and pretty nasty.

Some places are good about pumps and even have places to pump on breaks. My aunt is having her 4th at 41 (I think she's crazy as she has a lot of complications) and she pumps at work.

 

I can't understand why she should have to stop - supplement maybe, but why stop? There are support groups for breastfeeding and lactation consultants and any midwife could offer suggestions as well.

 

I agree with Bob.

What was the baby's birth weight?

 

Both my kids were born at 10 1/2 pounds.

 

He was 8lbs 1 oz.

 

Vikinggal,

I second Bob that your friend should RUN to a good lactation consultant before deciding to discontinue BF or starting supplemental bottles. Some BF babies won't take bottles at first which makes things worse for wt gain and some babies once they will take from a bottle will no longer BF. It can be hard and very time consuming to pump enough milk to give through a bottle. In the 1st few months, I wouldn't recommend trying to go between BF and bottle.. I am a registered dietitian, and while lactaction is not my expertise, I did breastfeed 3 kids and I also have good friends who are lactation consultants who gave me lots of advice and encouragement and I have also worked on the high-risk OB floor of a major hospital and seen the wonders that lacatation consultants can do for babies and moms having difficulty with feeding.

It is possible that, as Taximom pointed out early in this thread, the baby needs to feed more often and perhaps your friend is feeling like something is wrong with her milk supply because of this. This is when the baby NEEDS to feed more frequently. It won't last forever, just until the mom's body gets the message to make a larger supply of milk. Totally normal! As long as the baby is latching on and feeding on both breasts at each feeding until full and mom is feeding on-demand then the baby should start gaining wt.

If all esle fails and I were in her position, I'd want a lactaction consultant to agree with the pediatrician that formula is necessary. Some babies, especially preemies, can be lactose intolerant - BUT THIS IS VERY RARE in infancy! But in that case, a lactose-free formula would be necessary. There can be lots of other explanations, too. This is just one possible scenario. Obviously, there could be more going on than we are aware of here.

Wish her well!

 

Well he's 15 months now so I doubt she would have done it this long; I think she would feed him every 3 hours. Kids intrest me so much already and no I don't have them, but would like to educate myself as much as possible about human development, nutrition, childbirth, and breastfeeding before they get here. I want to know as much as possible.

He isn't lactose intolerant as he eats milk, yogurt, ice cream, and cheese now.

 

Aha! Thought he was still around 2 months old.

Good for you, you'll be a well-prepared mom when the time comes!

 

ok...you get mom of the year just for that!

 

It's making me want to breastfeed.

 

I didn't breastfeed my one year old.

I sucked at it. There aren't people around to really REALLY help you with the worst of it. I suffered from terrible, horrible, soul sucking PPD and went through nonstop bouts of vertigo soon after my son was born.... I just couldn't do it and once I stopped, the PPD seemed to abate since I suddenly had the room to feel more like a mom and less like a failure.

I am pregnant now and plan to try again. I think for so long I felt like a terrible mother until I realized- I was depressed. I was sick with Meniere's. Things outside of my control intervened and to be a better mother I had to make a different choice- and I ended up being a better mother to my son because once I stopped breastfeeding, I was able to bond somehow instead of feeling like I was a failure, a failure because I could not breastfeed.

I found some resources now. I have some supportive friends. I will try again because I know it's best for the baby. But I know if I can't, for whatever reason, then my baby will be ok.

(Although I am so not an attachment parent.... I have to admit that.... sorry...... but he never really cried that much and I never had to let him cry it out since he just kind of slept through the night at 10 weeks and stayed that way unless he's sick- in which case I of course check on him..... but I accept that some crying sometimes is inevitable and jsut because I DON'T respond immediately makes him all messed up..... but that's just me- still I think I have mama problems though, I am not a mama by deliberate lifelong desire and design.... I am not the most maternal person around but my son is still a happy, sweet, loving kid despite my coldness! )

 

Dizzysu - I certainly don't know you but I would like to offer that I think you're being a little hard on yourself. There are plenty of women that can't breastfeed and it's certainly not the end of the world.

As for parenting - it's a long, strange, wonderful, frustrating, exhausting, exhilirating, (insert any adjective you can think of pretty much) journey and if anyone out there or anywhere else gets it 100% right, my hat is off to them (plus I don't believe them). We certainly had/have a plan and aspirations for our children, but we learned a long time ago that they're going to go whatever direction they want and all we can do is kind of nudge them around a bit, teach them some manners that they're not always going to use and get in tune with who each one of them is and try to do whatever it took to get that particular child launched into the life they wanted. I can tell you that it was widely and wildly varied amongst our kids. Dealing with teenagers and toddlers at the same time was interesting to say the least. We didn't get it all right, but we did OK and so far all of our kids are healthy and happy (except for our 16 year old son who is being a butthead right now, but he's a 16 year old boy and I think he's going to be OK, too) and it's gratifying seeing them become the people they have become.

Good luck on your new pregnancy and all the best to your growing family - you will do fine.

 

Great information if I ever have another baby.