Anxiety and depression, panic and agoraphobia

I was just diagnosed with Meniere's Disease not long ago , after wondering what was going on since last year, can't pinpoint when it began. Before the Meniere's started, I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Phobias, Low Grade Depression. It started with a panic attack, after I had a hysterectomy. That was almost 16 years ago. I knew I had phobias, like agoraphobia, claustophobia(enclosed places), fear of heights, etc....Both parents suffered with depression, anxiety & phobia issues. I never thought it would happen to me. So now with the Meniere's my anxiety is highly elevated, I think I am going to die most of the time. I have been in therapy for years, where I learned coping techniques.I only take one med for the anxiety, Klonopin. I refused to take most of the meds they wanted me on. I saw what a lifetime of them did to my Mom, and I am very sensitive to meds & doses.I can't drive my car anymore, which I hate. I live out in the country side , no public transporation near me. I am going to have to sell my home and, move to a housing authority, when they have an opening, where I can get rides and the help I need. My whole life has been turned upside down. I came here looking for help. I have never felt this hopeless in my entire life. I was always a very independent woman, single mom , raised my daughter alone, she is 35 now. I was a young mom ,and have a granddaughter who will soon be 18. I was in my 30's when the Granddaughter was born, everyone thought I was her Mother.I helped raise her too, until I no longer could. Now I feel like an invalid. Stripped of my abilites to care for myself. I am so depressed, and looking for a site online for support. I feel like I am losing my mind. The Vertigo, nausea, ringing in my ears so loud now, partial hearing loss in right ear, balance is so bad.I can't even go for walks anymore, something I use to enjoy for exercise. Housebound and looking for way to cope with all of this. Looking for help! :'(

 

Welcome Kayla. Sorry you have to join us here. Hope you find some help and comfort (I am looking for same!)

what have tried for menieres and for anxiety? I also seem to be very sensitive to meds and dosing but with my menieres triggering nasty anxiety and depression I think I'll be facing some psych drugs soon.

 

I understand not wanting to take drugs. I try to take as few as I can but there's still quite a few that I do take. If something will help quality of life as you now know it, you should try make a change. Quality of life is the key. Meniere's hurts that quality to the extreme sometimes but sometimes there are things out there that will help. Be willing to at least think about them. Maybe try one or two just to see if something helps. There are so many things associated with Meniere's and depression is a huge issue. Look at it and be honest - help could be there waiting on you to take a chance...

 

I have terrible panic disorder and I find that it's getting worse with age (I'll be 55 in August). For a while around 2001-2003 I had a lot of problem leaving my house. I would, but I hated it. I rarely went to the store and even less frequently to the mall. Although I can shop now, I'd rather not. Crowds bother me because their movement makes me dizzy. I also have severe claustrophobia.

The fear of possibly losing the hearing in my good ear is always in the back of my mind. I try to not dwell on it and most of the time I am successful. But... there are days when Xanax is the only way I can make it through the day. I take 1/2 of a tablet if I'm feeling like "something" is coming on and usually take a full tablet at bedtime. My job has been a real stressor and my husband's health has been a contributing factor. I may end up losing my job over it all and I'm thinking of applying for disability but I'm not sure we could make it while we wait for the disability to kick in - even if I were to be approved for it.

I know there are people who are worse off than I am but when you're in the throes of an attack, it's hard to see that.

 

Thanks Ann. I am sorry I have to join too. I though I had enough problems before, but now with this Meniere's , it is disabling me physically, but my anxiety seems worse, and I am depressed, which was not that bad before the Meniere's. They want me to take Mecclizine too, but when I combine that with the Clonazapam(Klonopin) it makes me want to go to bed and never wake up. I feel like I have a hangover when I wake up, and I don't even drink alcohol, not in many years.
The Doc has tried me on many anti depressants, but I always stop taking them, side effects, I know NOW you get addicted, scares me now, as I know I am addicted to Clonazepam.If I try & stop taking it, it is a nightmare. I take it to get relief. I wish I did not need to take any meds. Feelong confused now, will try & make a list of the ones I have been given and post later.

 

It is scary how much we have in common, will post more later...I have most of what you do. Very confused now....

 

A little update... I saw a psychiatrist (really nice lady) last week. She has added 10 mg Prozac to my Wellbutrin 150 mg. She has also challenged me to take note of my thoughts, and how they might be contributing to my depression and anxiety. The depression/anxiety just feels so physical this time around, definitely brought on by the Meniere's vertigo attacks. It's hard... I just want to feel well and not have to think about myself all the time. So I waffle between resisting and trying. Hopefully as the meds start working it will get easier, but I still wake up early and just dread being me all day long, and my appetite is still very low. Taking Ativan helps, but yes, I worry about addiction. At least it is supposed to be good for the tinnitus. Bonus!

 

Thanks Anne! I will ask my Pyschiatrist about those meds on my next visit. Never took either one of those. I am very sensitive to dosage levels, so I would need to start on a baby dose.

Do you find you feel more tired than normal, with the Meniere's? Right now I am fighting off wanting to go lye down and take a nap...I may give in. Never felt this tired before, it comes & goes.

I need to get my list, but I remember Celexa was one of them.

I read a article on this forum about Meniere's,and it said it won't kill you, but it may make you wish it did.I have felt like that. This is one of my hardest battles, and I have had many, especially since I entered my 50's. To name a few, diagnosed with High Blood Pressure & Cholesterol, which I take meds for. Two frozen shoulders, different years, right & left. Acid Reflux(Gerd) ongoing...Diverticulitis, Menopause. I feel like a broken down machine that can't be fixed. Now the Meniere's, and I live out in the woods, no stores, need to drive to live here, no post office, no nothing. I am going to have to sell this house and relocate near civilzation and public transport.My daughter can help me to, if I am closer to her.

 

Hey Kayla
yes tired and troubles concentrating.
Yes it sounds like you are pretty isolated, and this disease isolates us even more.
Yes have a nap. I've napped nearly every day for five years now.
Now it's my naptime... More later. Hang in there... Try to do just what is next.
AnneT

 

That's a good one Anne, "try to do just what is next" even if it means "I open my eyes, I stand on the floor, I walk to the bathroom, I brush my teeth, I take my medicine, etc..." small tiny steps will help get you through the day. Baby steps, baby steps... Not how the end of the day will make you feel but what you need to do to get to the next step.

 

I learned best the little steps concept from a book The artists Way by Julia Cameron. Might have saved my life, that book. Definitely changed it.

 

I went outside today to get the mail (haven't been out for a few days now). I freaked out! The sounds, the bugs, the feel of the driveway under my feet. I couldn't wait to get back inside and lock the door (double lock for now). I did go back out for a minute cuz there was a small nest of baby spiders by my front door and I had to spray. I don't care if they're around away from the house but coming in is a no-no. It was probably actually funny to watch. I was out there spraying away and flailing my arms around trying to aviod the bees that love the flowers on my rosemary bush that's right by the front door .

Anyway, I'm safe inside now and shouldn't need to go out for a couple days at least... :-\

 

Hey Holly, nice to see us showing up and conversing on different pages! Yeah, I don't do spiders either. But if I couldn't get outside... I'd be even crazier than I am already! Poor you.

 

Thanks Anne, at least my personal "Holly pity parties" about it have gotten less over the years. I'm gonna try to make myself go out today sometime and get to the store. I'm running low but not so low that it's a 'have to' yet. I've been this way for quite some time. I thank God I love my house and being here does not suffocate me. Of course I have my two pit bulls also. They stave off the loneliness that sometimes comes with my agoraphobia.

 

I've seen behavioral therapists and they want to throw pills at it. Bi-polar disorder, manic-depression, Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. They know I'm agorophobic, I tell them I am. Maybe I just haven't found the right therapist. The ones I've seen believe that the medication I take will retard the agoraphobia. I guess they believe that the diagnosesis are the cause of the phobia. I don't want them to increase my meds. I'm taking enough already.

I know you've mentioned this a few times and I've always appreciated the caring and helpful attitude you've shown. I just feel stuck right now. Can't afford to go out looking for therapists on my own and the ones I've been referred to by my doctor just don't cut the cake (I've seen five therapists). I become discouraged and a little depressed when I really think about it. So, I try to just deal with it alone - with the medications prescribed, as best I can and hope that maybe the next behavorial therapist will have a different view of my personality (read behavioral) issues.

 

Agoraphobia sounds like a horrid challenge. I feel for you... and pray that the right help comes your way.

My anxiety is still following me. A doctor buddy says that Meniere's attacks definitely give you adrenalin overload. What I don't know now is... is this feeling still leftover from my last attack (3-4 weeks ago) and the dysequilibrium? The Ativan makes my heart race a little. I've been on Prozac 10 mg for a week and a half - I know it can treat anxiety, but can also increase it. What's what?? I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday - I wonder if I need more Prozac, or less, or something different. Or just have to wait. My Imovane mellows me out without the heart racing thing - should I take that during the day instead of the Ativan?

 

Buspirone works great for GAD in some people, but does nothing for others. Still worth a shot. Intrpid is right. Don't take benzos for GAD. Terrible idea.

 

I don't know if it's GAD... the anxiety and lack of appetite come after vertigo attacks. Six months ago, it would last a few days. With each attack, the anxiety lasts longer. Now it's 4 weeks. I've been on the Prozac for nearly 2 weeks, but only 10 mg. Today is a rough day. Without the Ativan, I can't eat. My psychiatrist suggested clonazepam, but forgot to give me the script. I see her again on Wednesday. I wish someone would just put me in a coma until I could wake up feeling normal again.

 

Clonazepam is preferable to ativan for several reasons. Longer half life means less doses per day and less ups and downs. Also easier to get off of typically.

 

Thanks. Feeling a bit saner tonight. Mornings are the worst for some reason.