Advice for Partners of Meniere's sufferers

Discussion in 'For Friends & Families of Menierians' started by John2010, Apr 12, 2010.

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  1. John2010

    John2010 New Member

    Hello, My partner has recently been diagnosed with Meniere's and apart from trying to be generally supportive and sympathetic, I am not sure how to help him. Does anyone have any suggestions of what partners of Meniere's sufferers can do to try to help them deal with the condition, especially during the early days when they're still coming to terms with the diagnosis? I'd really appreciate some advice. Thanks, John
  2. Linda1002

    Linda1002 New Member

    Believe him
    Leave him alone when he wants to be alone
    Be there if he wants help
    Be patient
  3. phildsc

    phildsc New Member

    One thing to watch for is in conversation. Always face him and speak slowly and clearly so he can understand. I have trouble with folks who put their hand over their mouth while speaking and those who talk while walking away or call from another room.
  4. wileyriley

    wileyriley New Member

    believing him is absolutely key. unfortunately, there will likely be many other people in his life who won't.

    go to his appointments with him.

    you're already at a headstart because you've come here and you've asked how you can help. that's big. good luck to you and your partner!
  5. dizzydeac

    dizzydeac New Member

    Help keep up his self-esteem

    Let him talk about what he is going through and really listen

    Be knowledgeable about his disease

    Don't act like it is a burden to do things for him

    You are already doing a lot by being here and asking questions. I'm sure you are going to be a great partner!
  6. SMRoz

    SMRoz Coast Guard Dizzy! (Ret)

    Welcome to the board. The best advice I would have goes hand in hand with the other ones. But also realize that we all have highs and lows. We all seem to have "pity party" days where we sulk a little bit. Come to this Forum and talk with others and ask questions. Knowledge is power but these great people also let us know that we are not alone.
  7. globug

    globug New Member

    Listen quietly. You don't have the answers. He knows that. Just be there.
  8. John2010

    John2010 New Member

    Thanks everyone for sharing your advice with me. And reading this forum has been really helpful to get an insight into what people suffering with these symptoms must be experiencing. At the moment we're going through a stage where my partner says he wants 'space' and I feel like he's just closing in on himself and pushing me away. It breaks my heart as I really want to help him and give him support, but if space is what he needs then I'll give him that too. I just wish he'd realise he doesn't have to deal with this alone.
  9. Linda1002

    Linda1002 New Member

    Try not to feel hurt. When I'm sick I want to be alone. I want others to understand but not necessarily help.
  10. Aladdin

    Aladdin Guest

    don't blame him

    if he tries medicines, therapies, treatments, surgeries and if nothing seems to help bring him back to 'normal' please do not blame him -

    (thank you enough for caring and asking these questions - you are a gem!)
  11. rottiesrule

    rottiesrule New Member

    Let him vent, listen to him, understand he can't help what's happened to him. When you speak, face him. If he asks "what" alot, don't get angry. If he's short tempered or frustrated, go with the flow. He knows it's not your fault. He may need to change his diet, so help him prepare his food, or eat what he does. His world may shrink, and going out is not something he can still do. Understand how big an impact this thing is on his life as he knew it. Thanks for being one of the good guys. Your both lucky to have each other.
  12. dizzyc

    dizzyc New Member

    hey john, its so great that you are here. My advice is alot like the others, but I think the most important one is to believe him. I can't imagine my spouse not believing that i had this disease, because there is no outward sign of it, its hard for people to understand. Remember that some days are good and some are bad. I also want to be alone when i get really bad, you can't hear, you can't walk, can't do much of anything, so you shut yourself off. I hope he gets on the forum for help and advice too.
  13. ConfusedNAnnoyed

    ConfusedNAnnoyed New Member

    Be supportive, listen to him when he wants to talk. There will be good days and bad days, days where he will want to be left alone and days where he will want to do stuff. Eventually you will get used to it and learn to work around it and be supportive. Best of luck!!!
  14. Silver1516

    Silver1516 New Member

    One of the nicest things my husband does that he doesn't make a big deal of is hold his hand out when I get up because that is when I'm most unsteady. Or puts his arm under mine going down steps or if he knows I'm tired while walking. He doesn't say anything just does it or holds my hand steadies me and comforts at the same time. Sometimes it's the small things.
  15. pardonme

    pardonme Guest

  16. Carlavl`

    Carlavl` New Member

    Hi John, I am also caring for my boyfriend. Some days I do everything, very quietly around the house. ON a good day, he may come with me for a drive into town (10mins away), and that's enough outting for several days. I'm on now cause he's having another bad day and no matter what I do, I can't seem to do anything right. He needs space, but is too unwell to be left alone... big cuddle to you both... I'm happy to chat with you anytime..., cheers Carla
  17. spinningwheels

    spinningwheels New Member

    Hi John.
    Understanding is key. Patience.
    Remember John, we are not sick to annoy anyone or interfer in anyone's life.
    We are not doing this to ourselves.
    When i get really frustrated and need to let it out and cry, I need to be hugged and reassured that I am not along.
    I have yet to hear my partner say something like "we're in this together". On a really bad week end I asked at least 6 times for a hug which I never got. It only added to my symptoms. So I feel totally alone, scared and lost at the moment.
    Don't let this happen to your partner. It's not easy but communication on both part is crucial.
    Good luck.
  18. KTabc

    KTabc Cheese Head Dumbass

    Two ways to look at this--first if you are not getting the support you need, it might be they are lost as what to do. Or ,they may just not want to give it. So, then is that the relationship for you??

    And, you have a partner. Not all of us on the boards can say that........
  19. dizzyallthetime

    dizzyallthetime New Member

    I am also new here , but have been dealing with this since Sept 2008, but dizziness since April 2007 . I can say that my husband has been very supportive and so have my kids , but u can c that they r "dissapointed " sometimes with me and that is hard ,my kids r 15 and 10 , and my husband is gone alot with work so it leaves alot on my family ,but for the most part they r ok , but sometimes I think they just don't understand . Just b there that is it , just listen and don't try to show your dissapointment . I think that is the worst part for me , I'm 38 and people just think I should not be sick , well I never asked for this and I would change it if I could !
  20. DizzyDixie

    DizzyDixie New Member

    I am the one who suffers from MM. And my huband is so supportive.
    He listens when I speak and there are times when I wish to be alone
    and I will lie down for an hour. He will come in and just hold me.

    He is one in a million.

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