Discussion in 'Your Living Room' started by ToniG, Jul 15, 2007.
I too applaud you for your recent posts. It takes a lot of guts to admit fault (in any way, shape or form).
I commend you.
And I am sorry for whatever hurt my words may have caused you.
Let's all channel this energy and find a way to FIGHT THIS MM BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(*as well as all other vestibular disorders!)
When I first came to this site a few years ago before you were denied access for an extended period of time, I was in the depths of despair. After three severe vertigo attacks and numerous other symptoms, I still didn't know what was wrong with me. I'd visited my family doctor several times, an ENT who was clueless, an allergist for allergy testing and a cardiologist for a battery of tests. When all the tests came back negative, I didn't know where to turn. I decided to do an internet search on my symptoms and it led me to this site. I was so happy to find it because the more I read, the more it sounded like me. While reading I noticed you made many negative posts and seemed to have it out for some members. I didn't think I would be affected by any of that if I posted since I didn't have any history with you and didn't plan to address you specifically.
I registered and made my first post. I introduced myself and told my story. I thanked everyone for anything they may have to offer to help me find out what was wrong with me. I said thanks to this site I was armed with some info to take to my doctor and felt like I had hope of getting a diagnosis.
Guess who my first reply came from? Yes Nassman, it was you. You started it out with "How dare you......who do you think you are?...........you are the patient and it is not your job to tell your doctor what is wrong with you........tell him your symptoms and let him figure it out. You ranted on and on. You called me and idiot, told me I was foolish and accused me of looking for someone on the site to diagnose me. I was shocked and felt as if I had been abused. Only two members at the time posted to say anything at all to you for the way you responded to me. I didn't know if others were intimidated by you or if everyone agreed with you. I made a second post with an apology in case I'd broken some unwritten rule. I told you I didn't feel I deserved what you had said. That was to be my last post.
You came back with more ranting. You said if my feelings were hurt that it wasn't your fault, that we are all just names on a screen and if I couldn't take the opinions of others then I should grow up, get tougher skinned, grow a backbone. You didn't stop there, but took the opportunity to tell everyone else on the site what was wrong with the site and everything you hated about it. I felt like I had just been spanked by my third grade teacher in front of the class. On top of that, with the way I was feeling due to my ear problems I didn't need that kind of abuse. So I left quietly. No LOOK AT ME post, I've had my feelings hurt and I'm leaving the group. I just chose not to post here anymore.
I decided to lurk because I felt like I could learn a lot here. There were times I wanted to ask questions but I sure didn't. I paid attention to your posts to see how you treated others. You were out of control, seemed to have no impulse control. You repeatedly called people names, used racial slurs and made homophobic comments. When the moderator or the members had enough you were denied access to this site, yet when you were allowed to come back, you did. You promised you had cleaned up your act. Again your replies have become more and more abusive.
I'm sure all the things that have been pointed out in this thread is not news to you. You have been told over and over again "it's not the message, it's the delivery." You do it anyway. You constantly accuse members of pretending to be doctors. The only person I've seen do that is you. When someone posts his or her symptoms you tell them that in your opinion they do not have Menieres. You say "if your doctor tells you that, he is wrong" or "your doctor doesn't deserve to have a medical license." I've seen you suggest to people they probably have labyrinthitis or MAV. You once told someone they have all the symptoms of Chiari and in your opinion that was their problem. You offered to decipher someone's audiogram. You tell everyone to stay off the internet and to stay away from doom and gloom sites but you are alway posting links to obscure internet sites. If one shouldn't search the internet, how are you finding them?
So at the risk of being on the receiving end of your wrath once again, I would just like to suggest that before you make it your business to tell someone what to do or what not to do, you make sure that you are practicing what you preach. I guess time will tell if you're actually capable of changing your ways. Whether or not anyone should accept your apology, well it's been done time and time again. I wonder how long it will take for you to break your promises again?
I've been wanting to tell you for along time how you made me feel nassman. I think you are probably responsible for running more people away from this site than any topic ever could. And just for the record I don't think anyone cares that you don't have Meniere's. It is because you always seem to know how someone with Menieres is feeling and what is best for them, when you don't have any experience with Menieres, no vertigo, you still have your hearing. Stop and think about that before you post something rude.
How was that for growing a spine?
I'd say you qualify as a vertebrate!
I am not looking to argue, but, I must say many of the things you say are grossly exagerated. I am sorry, but, as blunt (and perhaps, rude) as I have been in the past, I never would say the things you have accused me of in the manner that you claim I did it in.
Let's just move on.
nass - I believe that you suffer so (you may hate me for this post) and you are desperately trying to find a diagnosis that will make sense to you. A lot of people come to this board and are desperate - maybe this board is their last resort. I know having SCDS and MM made my life at times unbearable and hopeless and when I came to the board I avoided posts with your name. I wasn't looking for empathy or sympathy - just acceptance and I had no where else to turn. I went from an active mother of three to now a mother (my kids are in college) who can not even drive by myself or go to the store by myself - yes I am propably one of the worst case scenarios and I pray that you nor anyone else will ever have to suffer vertigo on a daily basis. I believe you are afraid of becoming as desolate as I am at times or others. You see yourself as a strong individual and it propably scares you tremendously to be as sick as others who post - Lord willing, Nass, you will never get to the point of darkness that I've been in and/or others have been in. You are afraid of what you don't understand and by being blunt and not empathetic it allows your brain to justify your actions. You questions people's credibility and their symptoms because you have not experienced them yourself and Dear God I hope you never do. I also believe that you sometiems really want to share valuable information and help direct people that maybe do not have MM toward other avenues of thinking. But the tone and spirit you write sometimes indirectly hurts people. Nass, there are days I wish I could research and site the material you do on this forum but most days all I have strength for is to read and place an xo or smiley face because these diseases are literally kicking my arse. A lot of people come to this forum for support and kinship. I believe you are hurting and this may be a way you vent your hurt, frustration, and anger but please be kind while posting and be kind to yourself.
Nass......just for the record, I don't have a big problem with you. I pretty much got your number early on. When someone posts a sincere post, and your respond with a ~~~ Y-A-W-N~~~~then it doesn't appear you were taking other thoughts, feelings and differing life scenarios with respect. I suppose I thought you didn't deserve much in return. I just YAWNED back and thanked you for your insightful contribution.
It's obvious that there is a lot of hurt and pain still harbored because of your replies to posts .....regardless of anyone understanding where you come from or not. No one here has a crystal ball to see into your life experiences. If you have had tough experiences, you can bet others have as well.......it's only fair to give others the benefit of the doubt.
While I agree with Sarita that a character assassination is not in order (having been on the receiving end....it's not fun!) I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But I think it's fair for those that have been hurt intentionally or unintentionally to have the forum to vent their frustrations, anger and hurt. Once everyone gets a fair chance, then we need to let go. It would be well advised to acknowledge pain and hurt whether intentionally imposed or not......and allow whoever needs it to process and let go.
If this gets to beating a dead horse, (repeat complaints from the same people saying the same thing by rewording their vent)....then it's time to shut this down.
Have patience, as many of us have had patience with you. Maybe this will be a learning lesson for many involved.
My question is....you didn't even start this particular thread. Has it been worth the beating for sticking up for someone who isn't even here? Having you around gave them a lucky break when they also have some people to answer to in judging their choice of surviving this dreaded disease......and with the advice of their doctors. There is no room for intolerance of how anyone decides to cope.....and in some cases simple SURVIVAL!
Peace to you nass.....I sincerely mean that.
With all due respect, I feel your anger and frustration. however I would like to take some of the heat off of Nassman.
The YAWN that you are referring to was not Nassmen, It was me.
When Nassman replied to several of my posts and I felt bashed, I replied with a YAWN accompanied by a photo.
Actually Carribbean.....I have seen the "yawn" ploy from Nass for several years. I don't frequent this forum very often anymore, so until today, I can honestly say I haven't seen your "yawn"! you're off the hook!
1stStarIC2nite ~ I wanted to address your post. My first post, Nassman did the same thing to me. I understand how that felt. Nassman did not let up, everytime I posted he got uglier and nastier with me. I wish you would stay, don't let Nassman run you out of here. Don't let him know he won!! After all aren't you a survivor and survivors have to stick together.
It's his nature folks, it won't change. Forgiveness and moving on won't work. He will continue to manipulate and abuse, just wait and see. I know alot of you don't see it because you may not have had experience with this type of behavior, I have. It doesn't make me an authority, but I did suffer at the hands of this type of personality for years and years and nothing you do will make it better. Once you rest in the sights of an abuser, you stay there. You don't have the power to change Nassman. Nassman is Nassman. He won't change. Why waste the energy? Life is too short for the Nassman's in this world.
Stay- we need more people who do understand. I don't remember anything specific about Nassman- but I do recall getting a couple posts when I started (just a week ago) that knocked me and my doctor. Not enough to offend me, but enough to make me question things. That's ok though- it is always good to question myself from time to time. My thought, there have been many people on this site that have taught me a lot and understood. I hope you and all those who understand stay around. You were correct, by the time we make it to this site, we are tired of feeling like crap and don't have the patience for much. From someone who has just begun with this site, and not wrapped up in it- it is kind of funny that such a supportive site has this kind of termoil in it. Guess that is how the world is though. As long as the support out numbers the negative- it's still a good place to hang out.
I just want to say that this is the last time I will be visiting this thread. I feel sick to my stomach everytime I come here and comment. It's against my nature to say what I have been saying publically.
But I just want to say that I had a life altering experience at the hands of this type of personality. I have kept silent for a long time about this person, because of the nature of what happened to me in the past.
I wish Ray would just delete this post like he did the other one and every time Nassman hijacks someone's thread or gets out of control and starts abusing members here, to delete it.
The members in this forum deserve peace and acceptance, why subject us to further predatory behaviors from a member here? Life is difficult enough.
I spoke my peace and I am moving on, enough said.
There is a lot of truth in what you have said. You are the first person who has analyzed me correctly. What I did out of fear and frustration was wrong, and in doing so, I hurt people like you who are truly suffering. I am very sorry for this and my apology to you and others like you is wholeheartedly meant, no matter what others may say about me.
I truly hope you find relief by means of a cure or a new wonder drug one day.
I have been silent for a very long time....I make you this promise, If Nassman steps out of line again, I will personally shoot him down in flames so hard you won't believe this is comming from me.
uh Folks - I heard there is cake on the other thread. Go try some.
Yes, let's just stop the bickering and get some cake.
Or perhaps a good strong drink instead?
You too Nass, you too.
Kangaroo Court is now in session..........
You people never cease to amaze me.
Have a nice day.