just words put together, it's harder to write when it's fresh in your mind, but i like to write raw sometimes as it helps As she looks in the mirror at a face she barely sees through the blistering tears welling up in her eyes no longer tears of guilt or fear but tears of relief and understanding she no longer feels at fault for the pain of her child no longer afraid of what others may say she lets the tears drop down her face allowing the pain to start to wash away with each tear that drops judgemental,guilty,unfit,useless,heartless the harsh words she used on herself slowly drip away with the salty tears she wipes her eyes and looks again the pain being replaced with words of love love for herself, love for her child loving,caring,thoughtful and wise beautiful inside and out her eyes start to shine the tears slowly drying helped along by others who cared showed her it wasn't her fault a mothers pain replaced by a mothers love
Sapphire - it's been a rough road for me with one of my children. There's not enough room here to tell the whole story, but at 18 she left home in a not so good way. Some of it was just the myopic selfishness of being 18, some of it was me. It was bad. I curled up in a fetal position in my bed for days, crying, saying all the things this mother said here. It's taken me a long time to forgive myself for the places I went wrong, but I'm getting better. I just posted a blog post about my own mother and how I learned to forgive her. Looking forward to the day my child forgive me.
being a mother is the hardest job i've ever had , we don't always have the answers and we aren't always perfect but we are just human at the end of the day and we all make mistakes, it's how we choose to get through those that defines us, forgiveness for a parent is often harder to do until we are old enough to realise a lot about ourselves and our lives, i do hope you get things sorted with her, big hugs xx